So some of you may know I was planning to move back to the States after spending 10 years abroad, primarily to let my 5-month-old son have more family around. But it all went belly up and I now think it was a terrible idea to begin with.
My sister arrived to help me; I paid for her airfare so that she could help. At first things were fine, but then throughout her stay I started to realize why I never got along with her and never wanted to be near my family to begin with -- they invalidate and dismiss absolutely everything I say. It's like they don't think I have a right to my own voice/opinion.
When my sister was here, she repeatedly tried to argue with me about what was best for my son. We were in a restaurant with my son when things got very very loud and very chaotic. A live band began playing raucous music and going from table to table. People were dancing all over the place and there were a lot of drunks. I saw that my son was starting to get scared and overstimulated. He was sobbing uncontrollably. So I told my sister I was taking him outside and that we should go home, because he was already in a complete panic. Her response was, "Just let him cry there, no one can hear him crying anyway." Then, when I explained that he was overstimulated and stressed, she said, "It's good for him to be overstimulated. Just leave him." Mind you she has no children of her own and has no idea what she's talking about.
Fast forward to today. The flight is tomorrow. The baby now has a very high fever, probably as a result from being around other children in the restaurant yesterday. I told my sister that if he is still sick tomorrow, I cannot take him on the plane. One, because the airline does not allow it and doctors strongly advise against it. I told my sister that we need to re-evaluate the whole situation because a) he is sick and may not get better within less than 24 hours and b) the fact that he is sick makes it next to impossible for me to clean the apartment today and pack everything I need to pack (plus I still have to work later).
Her response was, "you're such a f*cking drama queen."
When she said that I realized how much I despise my family, and don't want to be around them. I remember her saying the same thing after I'd been molested as a child, and for the following 15 years I got the same response anytime something was seriously wrong. My feelings were always dismissed and I was scolded for "making a big deal" out of things.
To hear this now coming from someone who doesn't pay rent, doesn't have any kids and doesn't really have any serious responsibilities in life .... whose idea of a struggle is getting fewer than 6 hours of sleep .... Well, I want nothing to do with her or anyone in my family. I now remember why I left home to begin with.
My sister arrived to help me; I paid for her airfare so that she could help. At first things were fine, but then throughout her stay I started to realize why I never got along with her and never wanted to be near my family to begin with -- they invalidate and dismiss absolutely everything I say. It's like they don't think I have a right to my own voice/opinion.
When my sister was here, she repeatedly tried to argue with me about what was best for my son. We were in a restaurant with my son when things got very very loud and very chaotic. A live band began playing raucous music and going from table to table. People were dancing all over the place and there were a lot of drunks. I saw that my son was starting to get scared and overstimulated. He was sobbing uncontrollably. So I told my sister I was taking him outside and that we should go home, because he was already in a complete panic. Her response was, "Just let him cry there, no one can hear him crying anyway." Then, when I explained that he was overstimulated and stressed, she said, "It's good for him to be overstimulated. Just leave him." Mind you she has no children of her own and has no idea what she's talking about.
Fast forward to today. The flight is tomorrow. The baby now has a very high fever, probably as a result from being around other children in the restaurant yesterday. I told my sister that if he is still sick tomorrow, I cannot take him on the plane. One, because the airline does not allow it and doctors strongly advise against it. I told my sister that we need to re-evaluate the whole situation because a) he is sick and may not get better within less than 24 hours and b) the fact that he is sick makes it next to impossible for me to clean the apartment today and pack everything I need to pack (plus I still have to work later).
Her response was, "you're such a f*cking drama queen."
When she said that I realized how much I despise my family, and don't want to be around them. I remember her saying the same thing after I'd been molested as a child, and for the following 15 years I got the same response anytime something was seriously wrong. My feelings were always dismissed and I was scolded for "making a big deal" out of things.
To hear this now coming from someone who doesn't pay rent, doesn't have any kids and doesn't really have any serious responsibilities in life .... whose idea of a struggle is getting fewer than 6 hours of sleep .... Well, I want nothing to do with her or anyone in my family. I now remember why I left home to begin with.
