Texas trigger - hoping harvey wipes it off the map.

[Anar]

Has watching the devastation given you any sense of relief or joy? I doubt it, but maybe it has. And if it has it would...

I have not been watching the news. The only reason I posted on this thread is because I understand what the OP was saying and, like the OP, I agree that it is not a good emotional response to have. It doesn't mean that people aren't having it.

 

[Nuni]

I have not been watching the news. The only reason I posted on this thread is because I understand what the OP was saying...

Anynomous posts can be so confusing, but my most recent post I made was to the op. I believe I have been the same anonymous person name the whole time in this thread. I didn't reply to anyone, specifically, meaning it was for the op.

 

[Anar]

Anynomous posts can be so confusing, but my most recent post I made was to the op. I believe I have been the same anonym...

Oh okay, I'm sorry about that. I am actually very stressed out right now so I am not functioning as well as normal.

 

[Dicub]

I'm not sure there is a correct response to this thread.

This is a highly charged and emotional event that's happening present tense. I guess my heart goes out to those who are struggling with the very perpetrators who led them to this site.

I think we can all relate in one way or another to wanting/needing justice and revenge for ourselves or family member/friends who have been hurt in unspeakable ways. Some happen to live in Texas and are finally living out a horror of their own.

The op is one of those. So are a couple of others. Others have needed to support the op. Honestly, whether we admit it or not, most of us wouldn't be sorry to learn that justice has been served in one way or another. Myself included. I have more than one.

However...a big however, there are sufferers on this site that are really struggling with fellow members wishing them dead. No mercy. They just also happen to live in Texas. Distorted thinking or not, when someone responds with hatred, it becomes personal and again... another feed into their trauma. That was most certainly not the intention of the op.

Where's the balance? How is it possible to answer this thread without offending or even unintentionally hurting someone...and what happened to the op?

 

[Fuzor]

Ummm I guess I should apologize for starting this.....debate? What I was hoping for were some suggestion for handling t...

Well, for what it's worth - or not - I don't think you a monster.

 

[Ninaca]

I am the OP

I ran away from this thread early on - because that's what I do when I have made someone angry or upset. I take off. I had no idea when I posted that it would even be read or responded to. I thought maybe one or two people might be able to give me some ideas because I couldn't calm down and saying you are a monster who wants an entire state wiped out seemed safer on an anon post than admitting it out loud to someone in a crisis line.

I came back this morning because I saw there had been a bunch of responses and I was still hopeful...

For those of you that I triggered I am truly sorry.

For those of you who pointed out my totally irrational response could be normal in the hell that is PTSD --Thank You for your insights and the info you attached. You have no idea how much it has helped me to see that admitting I think horrid things sometimes doesn't mean I suck as a human being. There are people out there who can see the difference between being a monster and being afraid and tell me it's ok to be overwhelmed

Since I posted this I've met with both of my counselors, who are in agreement that it exposed a layer of rage I didnt even know I had. Did I know I hated texas? Yep. Did I know I wished it would be erased from existence? Nope. One thing they are both grateful for is that it made me FEEL. Maybe not good emotions true. But I felt something and they are taking it as a win since I am usually shut down. And they are pretty excited that I reached on this site rather than stuff it away...another new thing for me

I know I have a long, long way to go. Thank you for helping me take a baby step

 

[Vovati]

So far as anger/rage that was disproportionate or directed at all of a profession or man created "institution" (though not a whole entire state or even city) I get it - understand. I had to deal with it too. So glad this was assistive for you!! Kudos to you for working through it with your counselors!

 

[Rerad]

I feel it was incredibly brave for you to post your feelings.... I am in Texas , and going thru some of the things that are going on here... how silly for me to take that comment personal.... you were experiencing feelings..... you said words. You reached out.... and you grew and will continue to grow from it... and for that, I am very excited for you...
And a gentle reminder, each person here is responsible for being triggered.... Part of the mission of this forum... exposure... to things that are upsetting.... and choosing how we want to deal with it...
I am excited for you... keep up the good work.... and this is one Texan who is grateful you shared... and didn't take it personal.... sending you gentle hugs if you accept... since it's from a Texan... you can always give it to someone else and I won't take that personal either.... :hug:

 

[Ninaca]

A hug from a Texan would be a fabulous step in the right direction. Thank you so much. :)

 

[Oviz]

How about one from MinneSOta?
Wishing you well...
Wishing all of you on this "thread" well...

 

[Oviz]

A gentle hug...

 

[Nawug]

There are also a number of cognitive distortions involved... and the core belief to be dealt with is that "wiping Texas off the map would relieve the mental/emotional pain" (it wouldn't). It is hard to talk candidly about stuff like this even in an anonymous forum area especially during a catastrophic event in that state where obviously the poster has had so much hurt and pain and trauma.

In other words, OP is looking for a quick fix to alleviate the pain of his abusers. ( wipe Texas off the map-- um..okay )