Texted counselor and still no reply

[WishfulThinking123]

I am having a lot of anxiety and self doubt going on right now. Last night I was out with my friends and I had too much to drink..I was also feeling pretty depressed before drinking and the drinking made it 1,000 times worse. I had fun at the time but, when I got home I just started feeling more and more depressed and just thoughts of like *not wanting to live*- but not suicidal as in I wouldn't have done anything I don't think...anyways I didn't do anything thank goodness. I was just feeling very erratic though in my thinking patterns...I was messaging my friend and she was actually becoming worried for me. Anyways she suggested I text my T...now I have only text her/reached out to her once before, this isn't something I normally feel ok doing and we have never really had a boundaries discussion as there really had been no need before...I don't really talk to her outside of session unless I just want to ask a quick ?. Anyways....the text message in and of itself was just kind of depressing but also probably didn't make much sense (I was pretty intoxicated). Anyways I texted her late last night so she was probably sleeping but, she still hasn't responded and I just cant help but, think I crossed the line and I am not supposed to reach out to her? I just think she probably thinks I'm so stupid and annoying....idk Should I send her another text and say I'm sorry for the one I sent last night? I'm also stressing because I don't have an apt this week and I really need to talk to her but, I'm going out of town. sigh I've just been a mess this week.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

If I were your therapist, I would not judge you for this behavior. If you want to text her for peace of mind, you should. It is probably not her personal phone number you are texting, so it may take her awhile to check it. I have no outside contact with my therapist, I am allowed to leave a phone message, but the one time I did, she was at a conference and didn't receive it. I am guessing if I had been desperate at the time, I would have called the main number, but I ended up actually being glad she hadn't called back, because I solved the issue on my own.

 

[Casey_03]

I don't think it'd hurt to send a brief message saying sorry for the nighttime text. She may not have even seen the message yet. And I agree with @TexCat about calling -- she probably would've expected you to call if you were in a real crisis. The one time I felt like I was in crisis mode I texted my T and she didn't respond for several hours; she later told me to call if I'm ever experiencing a crisis, as she doesn't check her texts often.

 

[desiderata310]

Nope. Gotta remember that therapist have lives that we know nothing about.
MY therapist had a colonoscopy this week. He told me in session AFTER the fact but had I texted him that day of, I would have gotten no response from him.
Therapists also go out with friends, drink, party, have sex.. all those things, and they aren't looking at the phone anymore than you are when you are doing those things.
Take a breath and wait. It'll be ok.

 

[WishfulThinking123]

Unfortunately it is her personal cell because, our paths have crisscrossed before in an out of professional/personal relationship. I have used it before when I was in crisis and she didn't say not to text it again but, I still feel bad because, I want to be respectful. Our relationship is complicated since the lines have been blurred in the past. I think I'm just going to send a quick sorry text.

 

[desiderata310]

stop
dont do that
sit on your hands

 

[Joan]

I totally get the battle going on in your mind with all the thoughts and trying to read into things....been there, done that. It is so easy to get caught in the vortex and think all kinds of judgements about yourself, try to get into your T's head and know what they are thinking....try not to go there...it just is a viscous spiral out of control. You show great insight into what drinking did to you in a bad space...acknowledge it and use it to help you in further decision making. You acknowledge no boundaries set with T about outside communication....no time like the next time you see them.

 

[desiderata310]

It's also fair for me to point out that my therapist uses his personal phone.
He doesn't check it obsessively. I have texted in crisis before and didn't get a response till the next day.

 

[WishfulThinking123]

@desiderata310 don't do what?

 

[desiderata310]

Don't text a "sorry" text.
You're in need. Period. Just wait.

 

[WishfulThinking123]

Thanks for the encouragement! Reaching out is so hard for me- I always feel like I am going to bug them or be "too much"

 

[Sargonnas]

Your reaching out to your therapist is not uncommon as I was speaking with mine last night. I am going through a real rough patch at the moment and she often calls to make sure I'm OK. So I wouldn't stress to much as I am sure you are not the only one to have texted your therapist while intoxicated. Anyway she may have found it amusing