That being around caused trauma for me has a really negative impact on my relationships still

[juliana]

That group that I was around that led to me witnessing sexual violence still has a really negative impact on my relationship. I got threatened, people have tried to fight me and they follow me around. I dont know what I can do except for like filing a police report and seeing if they can help.

 

[arfie]

it won't hurt to get your situation on record in case there is actual fallout, but unfortunately, there is seldom anything they can do until there is a criminal incident.

taking self-defense classes eased my anxiety through a similar phase. in my own case, the phase petered out without incident, but several decades later, reviewing those self-defense classes are still a potent tool for managing my hyper-vigilance.

 

[juliana]

it won't hurt to get your situation on record in case there is actual fallout, but unfortunately, there is seldom anything they can do until there is a criminal incident.

taking self-defense classes eased my anxiety through a similar phase. in my own case, the phase petered out without incident, but several decades later, reviewing those self-defense classes are still a potent tool for managing my hyper-vigilance.

Yeah I used to try to manage my anger with self defense classes but I am just journaling about my anger then going through it with my therapist.

I do think that threanting someone and following People around that have asked you to not to is illegal

 

[Paula]

That group that I was around that led to me witnessing sexual violence still has a really negative impact on my relationship. I got threatened, people have tried to fight me and they follow me around. I dont know what I can do except for like filing a police report and seeing if they can help.

File that report. It's a beginning of finding healing. EMDR is the treatment of choice for your healing. It's not easy,but with support you will get better.

 

[juliana]

File that report. It's a beginning of finding healing. EMDR is the treatment of choice for your healing. It's not easy,but with support you will get better.

Thanks for the support Paula! I am having a hard time with it but I do want to work on it. I have heard positive things about EMDR from another person also. I made a timeline for written exposure therapy in therapy for the I got sexually assulted and a abusive ex partner truama. Really I needed to hear that I will get better! Thanks for saying that. I need people in my life to acknowledge what I am going through is really hard. Some people in my life, I would say ones that want me to have to go through something difficult just want me to be better like right now. But it takes time and there is hope.

 

[Friday]

How do you think filing a report will help you with your relationship?

What problems are you having with your relationship?

 

[juliana]

How do you think filing a report will help you with your relationship?

What problems are you having with your relationship?

Yes the truama from being around that Abolish the police group had the most negative impact on my relationships currently. I don't know if there is anything the police can do right now they are just following me around when I have asked them to not do that, and I have been threanted with serious physical harm and wished luck not getting rapped by members of that abolish the police group. But member of that group that I have asked to not follow me around sometimes show up at my work, around where I live. They tagged the street I lived on recently, where I go to school possibly. When I witnessed what I did to her sex assult because I was around that abolish the police group. I tried to help the person that was getting assulted and someone threanted to stab with a knife. Idk if the police could do anything. But if they could they would just make it so people couldnt do that type of stuff.

 

[Friday]

the most negative impact on my relationships currently

This is what I’m asking.

You said you don’t know what to do about the negative impact on your relationship(s)… but haven’t actually talked about which relationships are being impacted, or how.

Who
Are you talking about a 1:1 romantic -or platonic, or familial- relationship? Someone you live with or live separately from? Or is “this” (the negative effects, that you haven’t talked about, yet) hitting all or some of your relationships across the board? (friends/ family/ lovers/ mentors/ neighbors/ colleagues?) Or hitting some relationships and skipping over others? Or…?

How
Are these effects in how you’ve changed since witnessing the assault, and you or they are struggling with that? Or cause/effect from symptoms spilling over? Or the result of ideologies changing? Or…?

 

[juliana]

This is what I’m asking.

You said you don’t know what to do about the negative impact on your relationship(s)… but haven’t actually talked about which relationships are being impacted, or how.

Who
Are you talking about a 1:1 romantic -or platonic, or familial- relationship? Someone you live with or live separately from? Or is “this” (the negative effects, that you haven’t talked about, yet) hitting all or some of your relationships across the board? (friends/ family/ lovers/ mentors/ neighbors/ colleagues?) Or hitting some relationships and skipping over others? Or…?

How
Are these effects in how you’ve changed since witnessing the assault, and you or they are struggling with that? Or cause/effect from symptoms spilling over? Or the result of ideologies changing? Or…?

The who would be pretty much all my relationships. The how is something I am having a little bit of a harder time putting into words. I will read one of the research articles on there to see if I can help give me the words to describe it more.

 

[juliana]

The who would be pretty much all my relationships. The how is something I am having a little bit of a harder time putting into words. I will read one of the research articles on there to see if I can help give me the words to describe it more.

It makes me like very in guard alot of the time with pretty much everyone. I'm like often supposing the worst thing will happen, I don't want to experience what happened with that group of people so I'm like will try to act to protect my self from something that happened in that group happening in my relationships. Even when there is not a lot of chance that something will happen. If I get reminded of that group to much I get so destressed that I can not cope. Like recently I tried to join a queer trans copporarive club at my school. and alot of the things in the group were triggering memories of the abolish the police stuff and it ended up one of the leader of the queer trans copporarive club was in social media saying they were supporting Abolish the Police. I thought I could not avoid that group forever and I still don't know if the leader is or is not in the group that I have threanted me and follow me around sometimes. So I panicked but I tried really hard to cope with the amount of triggeres that were happening how destressed I was getting. But eventually it became so destressing that I couldn't manage it so I overmessaged and overshared about the truama with the other leader of the club because I was terrified of the one that said they were in abolish the police. I just like know on one level that it's possible it not that same group but once I learned that I just never heard it in a way that I could trust. In some ways even though I have heard many times it's not that group there's like no evidence supporting it's not the same group so I can really hear it. So I basically just keep a level of like oh well this is probably someone from that Abolish the police group now whenever I am interacting with people from the Queer Trans copporarive. And I got in a ton of trouble that is still unresolved with the club. And people have been like so mean to me about it. Basically like it's on you to have healded from it we can't stop other people from being at school here. But it's like being around that group of people resulted in my witnessing a violent crime, getting cyberbullyed for months, I have gotten threats physical and sexually. It's hard a negative impact on my relationships with others for over a year since it happened. I was like a trigger mess at my older brothers wedding because that same group was like recurring new members in the neighborhood right before hand and some other stuff. People are more like you need to basically heal from the truama with it. But I don't want to heal to the point where I don't avoid people that treated me like that. I have a really hard time making friends and meeting new people because of it also. When it happened a lot of people stopped talking to me at once in my life people that had been my friends for years. When I meet new people or trying to make friends now I get like freaked out it's someone from that group or that something that is like what happened in that group is going to happen again.

 

[juliana]

It makes me like very in guard alot of the time with pretty much everyone. I'm like often supposing the worst thing will happen, I don't want to experience what happened with that group of people so I'm like will try to act to protect my self from something that happened in that group happening in my relationships. Even when there is not a lot of chance that something will happen. If I get reminded of that group to much I get so destressed that I can not cope. Like recently I tried to join a queer trans copporarive club at my school. and alot of the things in the group were triggering memories of the abolish the police stuff and it ended up one of the leader of the queer trans copporarive club was in social media saying they were supporting Abolish the Police. I thought I could not avoid that group forever and I still don't know if the leader is or is not in the group that I have threanted me and follow me around sometimes. So I panicked but I tried really hard to cope with the amount of triggeres that were happening how destressed I was getting. But eventually it became so destressing that I couldn't manage it so I overmessaged and overshared about the truama with the other leader of the club because I was terrified of the one that said they were in abolish the police. I just like know on one level that it's possible it not that same group but once I learned that I just never heard it in a way that I could trust. In some ways even though I have heard many times it's not that group there's like no evidence supporting it's not the same group so I can really hear it. So I basically just keep a level of like oh well this is probably someone from that Abolish the police group now whenever I am interacting with people from the Queer Trans copporarive. And I got in a ton of trouble that is still unresolved with the club. And people have been like so mean to me about it. Basically like it's on you to have healded from it we can't stop other people from being at school here. But it's like being around that group of people resulted in my witnessing a violent crime, getting cyberbullyed for months, I have gotten threats physical and sexually. It's hard a negative impact on my relationships with others for over a year since it happened. I was like a trigger mess at my older brothers wedding because that same group was like recurring new members in the neighborhood right before hand and some other stuff. People are more like you need to basically heal from the truama with it. But I don't want to heal to the point where I don't avoid people that treated me like that. I have a really hard time making friends and meeting new people because of it also. When it happened a lot of people stopped talking to me at once in my life people that had been my friends for years. When I meet new people or trying to make friends now I get like freaked out it's someone from that group or that something that is like what happened in that group is going to happen again.

I need that Abolish the police group to listen to the boundaries I set when I first witnessed the crime. Please leave me alone, not be around me anymore, do not try to contact me, don't show up at places that I go, I have no interest in learning more about a theory that hurt me that much. Essentially I need them to get the understand that is over it's been over and it's long past the point of a sorry. I want to be not having this as a part of my life anymore.

I have considered moving out of Seattle to Tacoma for my health. And moving school for my health.But to be like made to do so because, of how that group did and still does treat me would make me so mad that it would actually have a worst impact on my health so I'm not considering that option anymore.

How come you ask?

 

[Friday]

How come you ask?

Because that was the title of your thread.