The Angry-about-sex Thread

[Gikih]

It's true that there is nothing wrong inherently with being selfish and just wanting a roll in the hay without worrying too much about whether you are doing it right according to someone else. If a woman goes into a one night stand in the first place then it's up to her to not expect too much in the first place, especially if alcohol is involved.

In short, Lust is awesome. Lust with a partner who is open and receptive to what you want and with love present is even more mind blowing...and everyone deserves this.

 

[Ebo]

I think the same goes for a man to be honest. One night stands are all about getting off, not about sharing intimacy on a deeper level. It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, that's what a one night stand is all about. I've had casual sex with a man who was a caring individual and while it certainly could have been better if love had been present, it wasn't disrespectful either. It was simply sex between two intelligent and mature adults enjoying the pleasure they shared together. You make it sound like that sort of sex should be entirely unsatisfying to a woman and it simply isn't true. A woman is just as capable of enjoying drunk, casual sex as a man is and it doesn't mean she is of low self esteem or standards.

 

[Gikih]

Ok, I just can't say much right here it seems today. Yes, women are just as capable of having drunk sloppy casual sex with men, and enjoy it too. I don't personally like to have sex while I'm drunk, but that's just me.

And now I will shut up before anyone else decides to bite my head off for having an opinion that isn't the same as theirs.

 

[Kinib]

I don't think anyone bit anyones head off, they just had a different opinion than you.

 

[Alir]

I'm Iduh....

I don't discriminate. There are sluts, and there are man-whores. You assume that because I have a derogatory name for one sex, that I don't for the other. Shame, shame shame. You know what happens when you assume...

You wouldn't happen to be a feminist, perchance? Just wondering...

 

[Ebo]

I'm not Gikih, but not liking derogatory names doesn't make someone a feminist. It's disrespectful and goes back to the argument of people associating enjoying sex or having sex to be a shameful act. It simply isn't.

 

[Gikih]

What ebo said.

Alir, if you are looking for a fight then you're barking up the wrong tree alltogether. I'm not interested and I don't have the time,

 

[Cotewa]

I'm struggling to be polite here, but nothing is as ugly as a narrow mind attached to a loud mouth. If I want space in which to be who and what I am, I'm obligated to let other people do the same, so enjoy being bitter and hateful. I don't understand how that's fun at all. If that's what you get off on, have the class to find people who want to indulge in that and don't go forcing it on random folks who are just living their lives.

Back to more pleasant matters- for all those lovely folks wondering about partners who really enjoy seeing their sweeties happy- I promise you, they DO exist. Like someone else said, for best results it goes both ways. Things get really hot when both partners are trying their best to melt the other one. If it's hard to speak about what you enjoy or think you'd like to try, wade into it. Things like saying "Ooh, that feels really good" when something feels good can help your darling clue into what you enjoy most. It only works if they care, but things like remembering what you mentioned in a past conversation will hint at that before it's time to hit the sheets. Of course, none of this applies to one-nighters, but that's like drive-thru- it can sate hunger, but it's not nourishing enough as a steady diet.

 

[Inud]

How is saying that sluts and man-whores exist being narrow minded?!? And clarified at 100+ partners, at that... Nobody wants to say "guess what? Before me, my husband/wife was with 100 other people!" It cheapens the experience, don't you think?

I made no personal attacks on you, yet you call me UGLY...?!?

Thank God this forum is anonymous....then again, I probably already have you blocked on the non-anon forums as I don't have these difficulties with anyone out there!

 

[Cuwolih]

Wow, Not sure I like the anonymity if it creates an environment for fighting and attacks.

 

[Cifa]

Wow, Not sure I like the anonymity if it creates an environment for fighting and attacks.

Yet then the other side of that coin, is that if the anonymity weren't available, people might not be willing to be honest with themselves, and others, thus anxiety is created.

 

[Ebow]

I don't want to wade into the argument that seems to be going on, but I think there's been a lot of sense written on this thread in places.

I know there are men who love to give pleasure. I also think that a lot of it's about good communication - and, yes, I think that it's better if a woman can communicate what feels good. It's not a 'obligation', somehow putting the responsibility on a woman - but, hey we're a little more complicated than men and therefore a little guidance is useful. But that works both ways, I love a man being able to communicate what's feeling good.

What intriges me is that this is one of the first threads I've found that seems to be accepting that people with a past of sexual linked abuse (childhood or rape) can continue to have and build a healthy sex life. I think that's really positive - I was starting to feel like a weirdo.

Hmmm, not sure I agree with the one night stand comments. I've had one night stands with men that I have specifically arranged to meet for sex (not a bar pick up scenario), and the vast majority of these were extremely good, most better than sex in a long term relationship. I have had the 'surprise' one night stands that just happen, and they weren't as good as those but still better than that 'expected / mundane' sex that happens in long term relationships. That said, when both partners are paying attention and there's the time long term relationship good sex is different, and better, than one nighters in my experience.

Going to the thread title 'angry about sex' though, I get angry at myself when I create an atmosphere and things get out of hand and cross the line, something happens that I wasn't expecting or wouldn't have agreed to (which sometimes leads to me getting accidentally hurt). I hate how this feels afterwards, like I've purposely recreated something bad happening to me.