The Christmas Blues

[Lionheart]

It used to be that my family would go out of town to visit my grandmother and grandfather for big Christmas celebrations, but they passed away in the early 80's.

Still, we managed to have some pretty nice Christmas'...Then my father passed away 4 years ago, December 21st, 2012. It is a bittersweet time for our family.

Money has also been tight and there doesn't appear to be any gift giving, Christmas tree, or celebration dinner this year.

Mom is now in a nursing home and my sister and I are both disabled and on a limited income (poverty level).

The things is, not only do I miss my family this time of year, but I can't enjoy gift-giving like I used to. I wanted to participate in the Kris Kringle gift exchange here on the forum too but, I cannot afford it. (Even my premium membership was a gift from another member).

I don't know if I can even afford to buy something for either of my 2 grandsons.

I look around me and see people shopping like mad and it makes me sad that I am not able to participate.

I have a case of the Christmas blues this year. I am a bit disheartened and it's not all about having money either...it is more that I feel "ripped-off" like I have somehow been disqualified from joining in the celebration.

I also thought of doing volunteer work, but I don't believe I am physically healthy enough.

Don't know why I needed to post about this, it isn't clinical depression, or PTSD, or anything that I will have to struggle to survive,...I just needed to express my feelings, I suppose.

Maybe there are others who feel the same way I do, and together we can bring some good cheer to one another.

 

[Silver.]

I truly feel that homemade gifts are underrated in this world. We make sure to do at least one homemade gift every holiday. Something knitted, homemade apple sauce, or jelly, cookies etc. I find the perfect picture and then paint and decorate a plain picture frame and make it into something meaningful, paint glass vases or twine them and decorate it.
I have never been able to handle Christmas, even before my major traumas it was such a hard time for me. But I have learned to make it special by being creative and thoughtful, you can participate, in your own ways x

 

[Lionheart]

@Silver. Thanks for your reply...

That's a great idea!!!!......I am the creative type and maybe I can put something together for my friends and family since there is still one month till Christmas.

I have several bottles of scented oil I bought for making candles...there's banana nut bread, warm apple pie, rose bouquet, and other nice scents... and the little oil burners are only like a dollar each. I can get a bag of t-lights for pretty cheap and add a few to the gift, put a ribbon on the little package and give them away and all for less that $10 (not including the oils which I already have).

I get supplemental food benefits too and maybe I can cook on Christmas so my sister doesn't have to.

Wonderful idea Silver, thanks again. :)

 

[Silver.]

also if it interested you, with some of those amazing scents, if they are skin friendly, you could make homemade lip balm
making candles in old jars is tons of fun and if you already have the supplies, it's pretty low cost eh?
(you have me giddy thinking of possibilities)
I see a bit of hope in this new post, it's really nice to see :hug:

 

[Mim28]

Thank you for posting your honest feelings. I am also struggling this year. Some days are better than others. The sad days scare me because I'm afraid they will linger too long. I hope you find joy this Christmas

 

[Lionheart]

I am buying myself a small gift for Christmas....I have a slide of my dad from 1964 and I am having it blown up and framed so that I have a reminder of him.

Maybe you can do something nice for yourself @Mim28 and the sad days will pass by more quickly. This is my wish for you that you also find joy this holiday season and always.

Peace,
Lion

 

[Mim28]

Thank you Lionheart. Each day I'm trying to be more grateful and kinder to myself.
I wish you joy, peace, love and happiness. This season and always.

 

[Ironlady]

@Lionheart777 i had three Christmas's when I was little then was forbidden to have any after that by my father... this went on until I was 35 years old. Last year was the first year since I was a little kid that I had ever been able to celebrate. I had three good memories a real taste for what it was about only to be shamed for having those memories., I saw family friends year after year celebrate as my father demanded me to hate it as much as him.. of which I could not... I just am sharing so that you know in my own way I understand the feeling of being left out.. this year money is so tight I don't think we're even able to afford a tree.. but I am making handmade items as gifts.. Silver's idea is spot on.. and with it I guarantee there will be even more joy in the giving because you are taking the time to get creative and I'm sure the gift would be so well received and cherished.

This year I'm making handmade ornaments out of round wooden disks I cut them out drill a hole for the string and decoupaging them with scrapbook paper and meaningful messages on them then coat them with sealant.

You should look on Pinterest for diy and handmade ideas.. there are sooooo many cool things you could do.

Big hugs to you my friend. :hug:

 

[Lionheart]

You should look on Pinterest for diy and handmade ideas.. there are sooooo many cool things you could do.

I will do that @Ironlady thank you!!!

I hope you do not feel left out or get shamed for enjoying the Christmas season this year!!!

I get a kick outta giving at Christmas and that is part of what had saddened me; the seeming inability to give. The other part is the "empty plate" at the dinner table. Not much can be done about that so, I am going to memorialize my dad with a picture in a frame and set it in a prominent place in my home....light a candle, and share some happy memories of times of old.

At least I can go to the Christmas dinner at the nursing home, (I think), and have dinner with my mother. I look forward to that.

And hopefully, I can come up with something nice for my sister who has struggled a lot with health issues this year.

This may all turn out to be better than I had projected. I hope it goes well for you too!!

Big warm hugs :hug:'s,

Lion

 

[Ironlady]

I will do that @Ironlady thank you!!!

I hope you do not feel left out or get sh...

I am going to do my best to enjoy. :)

The giving is my favorite part too.. tgsy sounds like a great way to celebrate. Thanksgiving was difficult for me. Although we were estranged I lost my mom last year.. empty place settings and seats hurt. I think what your doing is very nice!

I hope you enjoy a dinner with your mom too!

All my best wishes that things turn out well for you Lion.

Thank you for you kind words!

:hug:

 

[ShodokanJenn]

I second the creative gift idea. And maybe cooking dinner for you and your sister would be a special thing you could do. It wouldn't have to be anything elaborate or expensive. The time together would be the special part. I love that you are sounding more hopeful now.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Lionheart777 I'm sorry that you are struggling so with this. The holidays are so hard for so many. I've spent so many of them alone that they no longer affect me. It's just another day, and if Xmas falls during the week, then I work, as I did yesterday on Thanksgiving.

Christmas has become so commercialized that people tend to forget that it isn't about giving, it's about being.... being together, sharing of oneself, sharing a meal. You don't have to give gifts if you can't and no one should have to feel bad if they can't. Again, it's society/commercialism that has caused this.

I hope that your holiday will be fine, and that you can come to terms with all of this. Give from your heart, because you have a big one!!!!!!