The Cliches That Make Me Want To Scream

[ktmarie71]

I was talking to a combat veteran today who was expressing his anger at the usless cliches people tell him. Long after the conversation I was still thinking about it.
What I hate about Cliches is that they tend to minimalize and dismiss peoples' suffering. I was thinking it might be fun to try and list these cliches and come up with funny alternatives.
For example, the saying, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" becomes "When life gives you lemons, pulverize them!" So, here are a few of the ones I really hate:
1. Everything happens for a reason.
2. God never gives us more than we can handle.
3. Every cloud has a silver lining.
4. Think positive.
Here are my alternatives:
1. Everything happens for a reason, but no no seems to know what that reason is; therefore, it still SUCKS!.
2. God never gives you more than you can handle but people sure do.
3. Every cloud has a silver lining and lightning bolt... you have a 50/50 chance.
4. Think Denial!
Feel free to expand on these or come up with new one. Maybe there are some on the net that are funny. I am looking forward to seeing what you come up with. :laugh:

 

[caliaviator]

1. Everything I do happens for a reason.
2. You aren't God so don't give me anything I'm not willing to handle.
3. That silver lining in the cloud is really to distract me from the big ominous storm cloud in front of me.
4. Every positive has it's negative. Together they make an electric charge which isn't what I need right now.

lol that's how I feel when I read those cliches.

 

[ktmarie71]

Caliaviator:
I really like the "every positive has its negative" comback. That is great. I will use that one.

 

[caliaviator]

hehe thanks :)

 

[freakofnurture]

When I read the first list, my blood pressure immediately doubled and I felt bile creep up my throat. I hate this kind of mindless blabbering that's really just intended to help them feel safe within their ordinary little problems.
So, my replies...
1. Everything happens for a reason, and it's mostly a pretty bad and unfair one that I oppose strongly because of ethical concerns.
2. Sure God said that; he knows he's not qualified for his position in Problem Distribution and blames the victims for his failure in judgement so he doesn't get demoted back to his old job in the Tribal God Department. I mean, I completely understand that because the desert air is bad for his skin condition and his asthma, but I'm sure he'd be assigned a tribe in a more suitable climate if he just got over himself and asked for it.
3. But I'm living consciously and in the moment, and at the moment that cloud's f*cking obscuring the sun.
4. Think. Like, at all. That would be really helpful already.

My p*rent's version of the bullshit:
1. Everybody is given a challenge in life, a human task, that you have to complete by working on yourself.
2. Every obstacle and disaster you encounter in life is a part of that task and intended to help you work on yourself.
3. When something upsets you, you're just dealing with it the wrong way and have to work on yourself.
4. When you fall ill it means that you have to work on yourself.
Isn't that brilliant? Their shit is just what you have to deal with for cosmical reasons, and if you cry out, you're a bad person.
My comeback is usually just a string of really bad curse words, but for the sake of this thread... :D
1. So, how high on defense mechanisms were you when the omniscient cosmic mind revealed that to you?
2. And you took up the selfless task of being the best disaster you could ever be, for the betterment of all mankind.
3. Totally true. I need to work on my aiming abilities because it upsets me that I missed your head.
4. Referring to 3. ... You make me sick, I have to steady my shooting hand.

 

[ktmarie71]

Your combacks are great Freak. (uggh! Maybe I could call you FON because you dont sound like freak to me.)
I have a lot of those "think-of-everything-as-a-life-lesson" and "keep-a-positive-attitude" types in my life. It really makes me want to give them a brain duster.
Seriously, I can't see the positive life lesson in someone trying to kill you, or children being abused or soldiers seeing their friends die; but, maybe that is because my aura is all messed up or something. Maybe its because I need to have one of those organic coffee enemas or burn a bunch of sage and eat nothing but organic wheat grass and tofu.
I dont know if you can tell, but my family is from the Pacific Northwest where that kind of rainbows-up-your-butt-happy-horse-crap is a way of life for a lot of people. Funny how they can say that nonsense after they cause some of the problems.
I was laughing at your combacks because it sounds so close to things I have thought but not said. Those are awesome.

 

[ISupportHer]

he, he Just my attempt at humor.

1. For some reason, everything happens to me!
2. God never gives us more than we can handle but I may become the first exception.
3. Every cloud has a silver lining, which you MAY see once you endure the down pour!
4. Think I am positive that this sucks

LOL, OK, I will do a more positive list tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day, or.......

 

[becvan]

BEST THREAD EVER.

Really. LOL agree with every bit of it. :)

bec

 

[ktmarie71]

I love the "think I am positive that this sucks". :roflmao:

 

[Lucycat]

The one I hate is;
It'll all be worth it in the end - you'll see.

How the hell do you know what worth it means to me?

 

[You can get through it]

The truth is nobody who has not been touched by PTSD can ever really understand and in all honesty these lame cliches are proberly the same ones I would have used before my own experience of PTSD. I got similar cliches said to me when I was diagnosed with cancer but I now know to cut people some slack if they are truly just trying to be suportive.

 

[freakofnurture]

Your combacks are great Freak. (uggh! Maybe I could call you FON because you dont sound like freak to me.)

Thank you! You can call me 'tiny' if you like; it's my IRL nickname :)

I have a lot of those "think-of-everything-as-a-life-lesson" and "keep-a-positive-attitude" types in my life. It really makes me want to give them a brain duster.

It is the ignorant bliss of those / yet to be scarred as deep. / But soon they themselfs will get hit on the nose / and think 'oh sh*t what the *bleep*'. ... Well, no perfect metrum, but it flows :D

Another version I got is "Well, it could be worse. You don't have cancer or are going through a divorce on top of that."
My reply? Kick him in the face and say: "Hey, it could be worse, I could cut you on top of that." And then force him to thank you for your mercy.
Tseh, I'm mean :D