The Concentration Problems Are Hurting My Work

[Venator]

I suffer from a lot of PTSD (and subsequently anxiety) related concentration problems where I simply can no longer stay focused on the task at hand. I get irritated with it or angry at it. This is especially true when I have an illustration to work on but I've encountered a problem that I need to solve - can't figure a pose out properly, building perspective is crazy distorted or it seems too close up etc.

I am starting to slip even more on my deadline management, however. It's a struggle.

What do you guys do to deal with this? It's sometimes unbearable.

 

[missd84]

I struggle a lot with the concentration and memory issues too. I forget deadlines or sometimes even forget totally that I already did something. In the middle of writing or talking, I forget where my thought was going. It's very frustrating. I haven't figured out a way to deal with it, I've just accepted it. Hope someone else has an idea on what to do because I'd also be interested in this. Good luck!

 

[shell]

My concentration issues became so bad that I was no longer able to read, it became a real problem at work. I couldn't concentrate long enough to remember what I had read on the previous page, to put things in context. I only found an improvement after being told I had depression and being put on medication. I still can't read a book, but at least I can concentrate long enough to read correspondence for work, and I can read things that don't require me to comprehend anything too involved.

 

[Reclusive]

I have a lot of trouble concentrating, too. I find that I like to work in cycles, though - I have 3 or 4 projects going at once and as soon as one frustrates me, I move to the other one. On and on and in circles, but at least by the time I get back around to a project, I'm no longer pissed at it. Can't read a book, either. I even have trouble with lengthy emails or posts! Takes me a bit to get through them! You're definitely not alone.

 

[Venator]

Thank you for your replies, everyone. I figured that I was not alone with these problems... not that I want any of you to have concentration and memory problems also! :( Obviously it gets worse as my sleep schedule gets weirder and weirder.

Ironically I am at work right now (my day job selling sporting goods w/ my dad) and someone asked me a question about... something.... a bat... maybe wow, I can't even remember that. And I found myself saying a garble of word salad about new and used policies that probably made little sense to her. I was like WTF AM I DOING. But I couldn't stop.

@Reclusive: I do a lot better with more work to do as well, but I still find myself sort of... "Disconnecting" I guess in the middle of working. For instance, I'll have 3 comic pages out in front of me to pencil. I will try to juggle them, but I find myself blanking out and staring off PAST my page as I am drawing and the pencil will be limp in my hands. I'll be contemplating something, usually about how drawing X or Y will be difficult. Then my mind will seriously just turn into a barrage of white noise, snippets of memories here and voices there. I can never remember specifics after. It makes no sense to me other than the possibility that I am trying to disconnect myself from the stressor (which in this case is drawing something difficult like a cityscape)

Recently I've been suffering with more anxiety related problems associated with this. I've been drowning in the feelings so much that I can't tell what's "from the PTSD" and what is just the rest of my screwed up head. Or well, maybe one in the same. I'm afraid to tell people, because the usual reaction is that PTSD is just an excuse to continue feeling bad so people will feel bad for me or pity me.

 

[ProductOfSociety]

Concentration is my biggest issue. It's as if I can't focus on anything. I just zone out and lose myself for a little while. In fact, today I went to go get something to eat, it took me five minutes to realize I had passed the place. It's not as if this rarely happens, it's common... too common. It's hard for me to learn because I just can't hold the attention for long enough to process any of it. The worst part is that I do things when I am zoned out, and when I zone back in I don't know what I have just done. People will tell me and I won't recall a single bit of it. It's strange and scary. No one at work knows I have PTSD, but they tell me I need to get this problem with zoning out fixed because it's a real issue.
A part of me wants to tell people why I act the way I do half of the time at work. I am a pharmacy technician, if I began to go to therapy and take medication for it, they would soon find out anyhow. The other part of me tells me that it isn't worth the risk. I don't need people make wrong accusations of what could or could not have happened in my past.
At work I have been feeling really... anxious... a lot lately. The feeling will last for hours. I feel very jittery inside, I just don't know what to do with myself. Sometimes I get to the point where I have to force myself to speak with customers. I can feel myself forcing the words out of my mouth.
Perhaps this job is stressful in itself and it's causing my symptoms to get worse, or maybe it happens with age. I am unsure.