Emerg Services The Dark

[Stacieamy]

This is something that I am not sure how to describe well, but, for a long time, I have wondered what triggers it and if there's a way to snap out of it, rather than just wait for it to dissipate. I used to describe it as depression, but that is wrong. The Dark seems to be the most fitting.
If you know the lyrics to Paint it Black, there are days where it seems that I am living that song. I can not stand to be around Happy, be it people, decorations, events, etc. It's not reality when these moods hit. I also lose compassion for people and their pitiful, inconsequential problems. I don't understand how people can put so much importance on menial shit when the reality of this world is so f*cked. On the good days, I can let that shit roll off, but when The Dark comes, it just feeds the anger. That's another thing about The Dark, it's filled with anger. Anger at the damage done to my brothers and sisters by our enemies, by our government, and by those who are clueless, but think they know. Anger at the people going about their lives like nothing is wrong. Anger at our society for forgetting those who sacrificed their lives, breathing and not. Just so much anger. The thing that makes it end is the exhaustion. Just being too gd tired to maintain.

 

[Ronin]

I don't maintain the Dark.

I blend with it & figure how to use it. Only need to keep remembering three things about it, a) Never do in the dark what you wouldn't in the light, b) You choose, don't let anything in you choose for you. c) Darkness is for protecting, not for harm.

See, that's why I say I don't maintain it and just try to go with the flow.

May yours rest in peace.

 

[Stacieamy]

That's what I try to do, now that I see it for what it is. I think that's why I get so exhausted. It's like holding the leash on a very strong dog that wants loose. Ironically, it's the control that calms it, though.

 

[Ronin]

Hmmm... safer environments, maybe? Where the dog can run yet won't get off your sight / doing things that give you space, yet still are within control?

 

[Friday]

Only need to keep remembering three things about it, a) Never do in the dark what you wouldn't in the light, b) You choose, don't let anything in you choose for you. c) Darkness is for protecting, not for harm.

Best. Rules. Ever.

 

[Ronin]

Anger at the people going about their lives like nothing is wrong. Anger at our society for forgetting those who sacrificed their lives, breathing and not.

Thing is though - you can't make others care - but you can be the one who cares.
You can commemorate & honor memory & legacy in whichever ways you deem fitting and respectful.
You're not a no one, even if you're a silent voice in the wind.

 

[Stacieamy]

This is exactly where I find purpose. I'm nearly done with a psych degree and will work with dogs and vets. I have already begun on my desire to be an advocate for other vets. The feeling that I get from helping my brothers/sisters is amazing.

 

[Ronin]

Thanks for your work & cheers on it & lots of spoons, Stacie Amy.

 

[SaharaSon]

This is something that I am not sure how to describe well, but, for a long time, I have wondered what...

Stacieamy, I was very moved by your post. You reflected my outlook quite well. I'm having some difficulty relating to alot of people because so many don't seem to have a handle on reality. There seems to be a growing loss of perspective in so many people. I guess we need to try to see the black door and want to paint it red. It tough because it seems like there is a bad, bad moon rising. Hang on Stacieamy, we will get through this insanity one way or another. :whistling: