The Disturbed Mind - Compliant Victims Of The Sexual Sadist

[HëllaBubz]

I couldn't stop reading.

It's like my dad was the emotional version of this, without the sexual abuse, and then my ex who took prime pickings from my dad, and must have thought he hit the jackpot when he met me.

My blood ran cold when I read this, but I couldn't stop, it was horrible but it was all true, especially about them preferring anal and physical torture over everything else.

When they get inside your head so completely, it's no wonder that I cannot figure out my sexual life now, and everything is a jumbled mess. I feel so guilty for my body responding to trauma and pain, but at the same time I realise that a lot of people have put a lot of work into programming and forcing my body and brain to respond that way.

 

[anthony]

Open

 

[Sweetleaf]

I wasn't able to read the original post in its entirety (too hard for me atm), but it rang true to me and the situation I was in. I had an abusive alcoholic father, who sexually abused me as a child and as a teen. It wasn't sadistic shit, not at all, not like the psycho who ensnared me later in life, as an adult. It was very wrong, it was disgusting that it happened, it was definitely not legal, that's for f*cking sure.. It didn't give me PTSD though. There was no element of me feeling like I was being forced to do anything, you know? As f*cked up as that sounds. But it did f*ck up my mental/emotional/social development. Even without the sexual abuse stuff - having a belligerent alcoholic parent is not a good situation for a kid - and my mom didn't divorce him until I was no longer a kid.

In fact she stuck me with him most of the time, despite calling him a shitty parent like my whole life, despite her wanting to divorce him. She was talking about divorcing him for years! But she said that she wanted to stay with him "for you kids"... protip mom.... 1 parent is better for a kid, than a parent and an alcoholic f*cking shitbrain, even if he is the biological father.

It opened the door for me to wind up in the horribly abusive situation I was in as an adult.

By the way, little side note - she only divorced him when my sister and I told her "it's him or us."

especially about them preferring anal and physical torture over everything else.

I didn't read that part of the original posting, but that was a big element of what I experienced in the abuse.

Your post was made years ago. Before I even met the f*cking psycho who is the reason I have PTSD.

Kind of weird to think about that.

 

[lovak]

I kept thinking to myself that what I experienced wasn't that bad. Other people had it worse.
I've been reading all the articles about compliant victims and sexual sadism.
That's what happened to me when I was just seventeen years old.
Its bad. It's really bad.