The Email I Probably Won't Send But Want To

[Born to Run]

Did you and she ever discuss going back to EMDR, specifically?

My therapist stopped with EMDR for complex ptsd altogether, as it can give very bad reactions to it.

 

[Born to Run]

We can never recover from trauma; he's spot on.

This is not true at all, as I am almost recovered now from trauma. I find this statement inaccurate, and it is not helpful. With the right therapy, the brain can be rewired through neuroplasticity and recovery is possible.

 

[joeylittle]

We both believe that EMDR is probably not effective for me based on my reactions to it and my complex trauma. More recently, we've discussed doing somatic experiencing and she has been incorporating some of that into our therapy, but not in a regimented "plan" sort of way IMO.

Yep, I was asking you :) Sorry for no-tag.

I think you clearly want to work with someone who has a treatment plan, and a sense of outcomes. She doesn't seem to do that as part of her working style. (you've said all this, already - I'm just reflecting it back at you). A different therapist will likely be a good move, for you.

You should learn more about PE - it's the only other "recognized" (I use that term loosely) modality for trauma work. You could also look in your area for someone specifically focused on somatic work.

Nothing wrong with knowing your own wants and needs in therapy.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Have you asked your therapist point blank "where do we go from here?"

I get the feeling that you're making assumptions about the future because your writing doesn't indicate anything along the lines of "my therapist said THIS!" rather you keep mentioning "we both agree" and things along those lines. It seems that you're making "realizations" that may not actually be factual?

 

[SeaQuel]

I think you clearly want to work with someone who has a treatment plan, and a sense of outcomes.

Doesn't everyone? I mean, isn't that the point? What's the alternative?

 

[SeaQuel]

Have you asked your therapist point blank "where do we go from here?"

Yes, we have had that discussion a few times, and I get sort of a half answer - one that allows me to feel comfortable enough to move forward but not really fully understand the plan. It just feels murky. We start something, we stop it, we talk about doing something, we may or may not, and on it goes. My realizations are based on what I think I understand is going on. It's all I have to go on. So yes, an assumption.

 

[joeylittle]

I mean, isn't that the point?

Well, I think it's the point - but I've been in a room with some therapists who will say, no - that therapy is not meant to be outcome-based, it is a lifelong practice that is equivalent to yoga for the soul. You don't do yoga until you hit your 'goal' and then stop (or if you do, I have no idea how that would work, because you have to continue the practice or it all goes away again) - you don't do therapy until you are 'fixed', you do it forever.

Which is I think kind of true, but NOT with one therapist, and NOT on the same single issue, and NOT EVEN continuously.

You want to be with a therapist that believes what you believe, and it does take a great deal of talking it out, as @itsKismet suggests.

 

[Chava]

She said something about how all of the above treatments ARE the trauma work. These are all just things to open up the neuro pathways which IS the treatment and the trauma processing. Well WTF.

It sounds like you need a lot more clarification on this. It's really an important communication glitch that hopefully she can help you understand so you don't feel stuck. I know I need to feel like I have some sort of goals. But honestly, working through complex trauma is...complex. We actually don't discuss stuff too much because it's really hard to weigh out what is what. Certain instances have come up and we have talked about some things I remember. But with complex trauma it is often like wading back through the day-to-day chaos of the nervous system. It makes a lot of sense to work on regulation and symptoms. But it sounds like you need to ask her what you are going to do with the traumas you remember (or not) in more concrete ways. How is it "processed" in her view or what is the therapy plan for your complex trauma...and keep asking questions if how she explains it doesn't make sense.

If you imagine a sort of retelling of several events, ask your therapist what her view is on that. Or EMDR for separate events? For me complex trauma is so many innumerable experiences that I can really work through them on a memory-by-memory basis or typical narrative form. Maybe that's the angle your therapist is coming from but it doesn't make much sense to you right now????