Sexual Assault The end of my rope

[Deleted member 42783]

So, I learned that my best friend (who is also my cousin) was groomed and in a sexual relationship with our uncle from the age of 13 to 20. She spent 20 years believing she was partly to blame and at fault.She has not had ONE healthy sexual relationship in her entire adult life. Gee, I wonder why.

This friend and I are are as close as any two people can be and I am crushed that I am just learning about this now although it is all becoming crystal clear now. She started cutting at 13. She can only be in elicit relationships with older men with the exception of her ex husband who was gay and very abusive.
I want to scream. Our extended family is very close. All my closest relationships are family. I loved this uncle and have decades of memories with him. He is best friends with her dad (another uncle of mine). He f*cked over his best friend's 13 year old daughter. He did it at family events! He was a cop and tried to work within state consent laws. He knew exactly what he was doing and I know that she probably wasn't the only one. In fact, I've been trying to figure out what was missing in my past and now I don't want to go there. He has never faced any consequences. I will never allow my daughters near him again.

I just want to f*cking kill him.
EVERY female I love has been raped or assaulted! I just can't anymore.

 

[Supervixn]

This world is unfair... nothing will change that, unfortunately. It makes me want to jump ship and find another planet. I just can't even believe it sometimes.

Sorry for what happened to your loved one. The saying goes something like: the best revenge is doing better, but, easier said than done. It's a long road past sexual abuse, if you can ever get past that road.

It's a sad world in so many ways. I wish karma were real. Cosby is a perfect example of complete injustice. But your loved one is lucky to have your love and concern... remind her often... love heals.

 

[lostnconfused]

...EVERY female I love has been raped or assaulted! I just can't anymore.

Thank you for caring; not everyone cares. Caring and being there for your cousin and friends who were raped or assaulted is meaningful.

 

[WishfulThinking123]

Val I am so sorry this happened to your cousin! This makes me want to cry- I agree with the above post being there for her and caring can mean the world to someone who was sexually abused. It can feel like you're all alone because it is such a "taboo" subject unfortunately...I wish victims of sexual abuse didn't feel shame for it was never their fault and it not their burden to carry...it is just so sad. I don't know if you are religious or not but, I hope its ok if I pray for your cousin?

 

[Deleted member 42783]

I don't know if you are religious or not but, I hope its ok if I pray for your cousin?

I am and its okay.
Our family was always a rock of security for me. A last safe harbor. That man mentored me into going into forensics. I have decades of memories with him. All the while he was destroying my best friend.I am grieving and betrayed.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I am really sorry to hear this.

 

[Lionheart]

@valkeasisu

So sad to know that SA is so rampant and has touched your life, through your friend. I hope the uncle soon suffers from his actions and is brought to justice.

As a survivor of sexual child abuse, I can tell you that there is hope and a chance for happiness. Although it has taken me over a decade of therapy with a trauma specialist, and there was much pain and sorrow, my life is good, I am loved and happy now.

It takes guts and determination to heal from such a tragic betrayal, but it can be done. Your friend can heal from her past and be done with the shame and blame that was never hers to carry!!! This is my wish for her; that she get the help she needs to heal her wounds and find deep peace and happiness in her life. That she experience true love and healing, ...down to her soul.

and that you will continue to love and support your friend as she works to heal from the past.

Much love and strength to you both,
Lionheart777

 

[Deleted member 541]

I'm so sorry. It's bad enough and horrible when there is sexual assault, but when it's a trusted and loved family member that has crossed that line, it's so much more horrid. The betrayal is so much more profound. I hope some day that the bastard gets his........