The fourteen day challenge

[Jen93]

Failed-my mother and I had a fight-and so once again I'm feeling down and getting flashbacks and needing to post on the depression and suicidal ideation section. I have GOT to start looking for a place of my own. :/

 

[The Albatross]

Still doing okay with the thoughts.

 

[melody]

Way to go gizmo and AngelaMarie - you guys inspire me to keep going!

And I will keep going, but the voice in my head is just so critical. I keep telling myself to be nice to myself, and speak to myself like I would a friend, and in the moment it's not a problem. But it's like I have a devil on one side and an angel on the other and they're bickering all the time! Telling me I'm fat, or I'm a bitch. That I'm really a mean person and that when people find out what I'm really like, I won't have any friends... That I deserve everything life has thrown at me because I've done bad things... Or that when my husband truly finds out what I'm really like, he'll leave me... He's never seen me really mad. I save that for strangers... Sad, but true. And I have a really bad temper; a true PTSD temper and I when I lose it - OMG look out! I feel like Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde, and one day he's going to find out what I'm truly like and he'll be gone...

And here I am starting day one again... :confused:

 

[intothelight]

Sunday was day four and I am starting day five today.

The weekend was easy as it was totally stress free and the most difficult task I had to be responsible for was whatever I felt like. :).

The real test comes when I am back here dealing with work, family, doctor's appointments and all of the other day-to-day stessors that seem to unravel me. But at least this is my week off of chemo, so that is one less stressor.

 

[cat]

Not sure what day I'm on but postive thinking has definately helped me through the last couple of challenging weeks.

Quote from my T 'Stay strong & keep going' I've had that in my mind for 3yrs now, it still works!

 

[intothelight]

Didn't make it through day 5. So it is back to day 1.

 

[KP the nut]

So it is back to day 1.

One day soon, you will make it - I know. (((HUGS)))

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Even though I finished the challenge I keep on keeping on. I have been kind to myself. I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning and have early morning anxiety, but I have'nt been beating myself up for it. I have been patient and just keep on going the best I can. I like coming here and reporting my progress. This was such a great idea. It has changed my life, I realized so much doing this. I do not want to abuse myself like my abusers did, so I don't allow the negative to self abuse me now.

Thank you so very much.

 

[AngelaMarie]

For all of you!!! Keep on keeping on, forum friends!! I finished 14 day, however, I am still taking the challenge serious everyday! It's helped me change my way of thinking and I am very grateful. Thanks, Deb.:tup:

 

[intothelight]

I may not be doing so great at this myself right now, but it warms my heart to see how this has helped others. I know there will be a time that I will make my own 14 days. Right now I am working in hours. So this is hour 1 and my goal is a day.

Life just kind of works that way sometimes and I am trying really hard not to beat myself up or go down into the pit of depression. But sometimes the war is won by winning the battles hour by hour.

 

[KP the nut]

I'm keeping this up as well. It is working, the only problem is that I am feeling so darn perky.:tup:.

 

[Beverly G.]

My family and I are in AL visiting family and I have not had a negative thought since arriving on Monday afternoon. I find this interesting and confusing. My family is my buggest support network and they tend to remind me of times when I truely was happy. I wish I never would have to go home.