I read this recently and it brought home some things I had not considered in my own childhood.
one can dwell on that and carry it with them the rest of their life, or one can simply chalk it up to nothing bad really happened
As a child it would never of occurred to me that I was being neglected. It was the norm for me to be ignored and I practically raised myself, like in the book/film Matilda. I just got on with it because I knew no different. My parents were evacuees during the 2nd world war and knew hardship so I guess it was normal for them too. I was not shown affection probably because my parents generation were not shown it by their parents. A good hiding was considered normal and a bowl of soup for our evening meal also seemed normal; not that we always ate that way.
I grew up not sharing problems with my parents and attempting to handle them myself. We had a family next door who were very neglectful of their 6 children and in comparison we seemed well off. My parents were intelligent so I guess it was down to their upbringing.
I think realisation comes with age as Anthony said. It was when I began nursing children and then raising my own that I realised how neglected I'd been. As a child I was called 'chatty Cathy' because I never shut up but it was a nervous reaction to not being listened too and having to jump in, say something really fast, in order to be heard. Folk do not understand this and I have only just began to understand it myself
I think Jeanette saw the positive side because she did, at least, have some positive input from her parents so she knew her own value. I never had that so I thought myself worthless. Different people, different journey. I also believe that she was a strong individual even as a child, not may 3 year old's would think of cooking for themselves except to maybe get a biscuit or something easy.
As for dwelling on it and carrying it with you the rest of your life? I believe there comes a time when you have to face your past and deal with it if you are to become a whole person and that is never easy but you can also learn from it. In some cases the abused becomes the abuser, repeating behaviour; some parents go overboard and spoil their kids, giving them everything. I never had money to spoil mine but they were spoiled with love, affection and I was their for them, taught them, played, listened, comforted.
This book has helped me see that my past does not determine my future but trauma still has to be faced to be overcome. I am glad I read it despite the stressors and triggers, it has shown me that despite my past my future and that of my kids is very different.
It does not tell you in the book but I wonder if Jeanette had therapy and if writing the book was, for here, a source of therapy?
