The Man Next Door

[KwanYingirl]

I think you helped considerably when you say and helped him through his panic. Under palliative care he is likely on anti anxiety meds and narcotics as needed to be comfortable. It is hard for most of us to sit and be with the dying. The outcome is obvious but in my experience a visit of just being there is helpful. The patient is most likely not eating, but his caretakers are. Even a store bought quiche that they can warm up would be a symbol of compassion. No extremes are called for. Simple gifts.

 

[Kefira]

I hope you're able to show up. I'm sure it will be enough. Learn his name. You'll want to know later on for you.

If you can't show up, maybe write a note. It doesn't matter if you don't have much to say. Maybe even say that you're sort of lost, sometimes it's difficult for you to even take care of you, but that you SAW him and he's impacted you and you just wanted him to know that. I think that we often focus too much on what is "supposed" to be, but these sorts of connections are anything but normal.

 

[Larksong]

@DancingBull So glad to hear you feel ready to show up. That's all you need to do, really: Just show up and acknowledge the bond of humanity you share. You don't even have to say anything in particular. It seems like very little to you, but I bet it would mean the world to him and his family. And I think it might help you as much as it does him.

You do deserve praise, because in this society, simple human kindness can be rare. Bless you for reaching out like that. Hugs!

 

[darrenS]

I have had the pleasure of being with a couple of people who were dying , they knew it and were ok with it - i too struggled initially , what do i say, what do i do ?, im not in the right space etc...you took a situation with a person at their most vulnerable, you showed care and compassion. You also showed dignity in being there - when people are dying and in most part have a lived a solid life, it is a real experience to share their last days or moments. It is something i have never forgotten or even been sad about - it is incredibly special - put your self aside and go say good bye , you wont regret it and you will never have that nagging memory of "i should have".

 

[The Albatross]

With all due respect, if you feel moved to do or say something... do it.

 

[shimmerz]

It's just that I feel I did what any human would do in such a situation.

I wish...... *heavy sigh*

 

[SeaQuel]

when people are dying and in most part have a lived a solid life, it is a real experience to share their last days or moments.

Thanks for reminding me of this.

 

[SeaQuel]

With all due respect, if you feel moved to do or say something... do it.

@The Albatross what is the point of your post? Your snarky comment is transparent despite your attempt to mask it in "respect."

 

[The Albatross]

There's no snark to it, for me regrets are worse than risking some things. You were very assistive to this family and you felt drawn to the man. It is that way for me, but I can respect, that perhaps it may not be that way for anyone else,