The mrs doesn't think anythings wrong

[Glo809]

Greetings

Well seems I'm alone in this...

G

 

[Deleted member 37474]

My husband is clueless. No matter how many times I have tried to explain what ptsd is or why I have trouble concentrating, doing stuff in the house or even watching a simple tv show.

 

[Glo809]

Greetings
I have retreated to simple answers.

Was going to give a memorial day sermon, but she nixed it.

That's where the comment came in.

G

 

[Deadman]

My ex never understood either. I don't think she ever really tried. Sometimes you just have to gut things out alone.

 

[Glo809]

Greetings

I am her 5th partner, all those before me physically and emotionally hurt her on purposem

I have not, I fear she thinks I will hurt her.

Walking on land mines that are buried deep is a scary thing, I'm trying to make my mines safe....

G

 

[Friday]

<laughing> That's in no small part why I married my exHusband. He was so far removed from that time in my life that it made it very simple to keep those years locked away in their boxes. Any mild little earthshake or consequence oozing out? Were also completely uninteresting to him. As were the few persistent symptoms I didn't care enough about to bother doing anything with. He didn't know & he didn't care. And I liked it that way.

 

[IamJenna]

I'm finding it exhausting trying to find better ways to communicate whats going on with me to my partner too. She really doesn't get it at all. It's so frustrating & triggering at times, but I guess I can't expect her to do more than she can or is ready for. Just feels like I'm talking to a wall at times, & in the moments when I really need some support her cold blunt comments & uninterested stares make the situation escalate even more. I'm hoping it'll get better & I'll be more able to cope & hopefully the dissociation & flashbacks & rage will lessen so perhaps I won't have to try looking for the extra support in places I won't find it...

 

[anthony]

PTSD is not something you can understand IMO -- you have to experience it to understand it. You can empathise with a person, but you can't understand the illness. To me, its no different than claiming you understand what a person with cancer feels. No. You can empathise with them, but you cannot understand it unless you've had cancer yourself.

I think people need to stop trying to get their partners to understand what they're enduring, and accept that is impossible. Aim for support, not understanding the unknown to them.

 

[Glo809]

Greetings

Today I asked if she has read up on any ptsd info.

No, was her answer.

I'm at max dose of celexa, the next step will to back off celexa and add buspar.

I am in a ok place right now, but there are twinges of anger now and then, which is why I work overnights.

G

 

[Deleted member 29920]

They don't get it, my ex tried to understand why I'd stay in touch with abusive parent and I said to read about trauma bonding. Ex was still clueless.

 

[anthony]

Today I asked if she has read up on any ptsd info.

No, was her answer.

That is problematic in relationships. When a partner isn't willing to understand the foundation of an illness their partner has, it usually means denial. Denial you have it. Denial the illness is real. Denial about their time management to learn. There will be denial attached.

Denial basically means -- they think if they stick their head in the sand it will all go away by ignoring the issue.

Unfortunately, it usually just makes things worse.

 

[Sterre]

Unfortunately, it usually just makes things worse.

Unfortunatly I can confirm...

Just 5 days out of a Relationship and understandably heartbroken. I believe the break-up could have been prevented if my ex would have been willing to read upon CPTSD. The fact that he didnt understand, wouldnt understand, and juged my behaviour and flare up's in a very negative way, certainly made things worse. More flare-ups, more anxiety, more confusion, I started to feel more crazy and unaccepting of myself.

@Glo809, Sorry to read that your partner doesnt try to be more understanding.