The Never Ending Story

[KP the nut]

he hadn't married Tallulah on the wild night in Vegas. He had only gone there to see where his favourite CSI was filmed. He wanted to see sleaze and he ended married to a drunk. He knew it was a mistake to ask a stranger to watch his drink when he went to the bathroom.

He looked at the receiver in his hand and..........

 

[sisu]

hit Tallulah in the head with it. He figured this would buy him some time so he could sneak out of the call Sasha back. That smelly pig Tallulah would wake up in a few hours thinking she passed out again from drinking, like she always does....

 

[anni]

He'd forgotten the dam plate in her head again and the blow only served to sober her up this time. As he was being led away in handcuffs Tallulah made her final resolve-this was it, it was TIME. She headed for the pawn shop to sell the sweaty Elvis underwear from that wild night in Vegas all those years ago. It would be just enough to get her back to the farm. Would they welcome her? Was Pete still alive? Was everything still brightly colored with the checkered paint of her childhood memories?

 

[sisu]

She got more than she expected for those sweaty Elvis underwear so she stopped at Buck's Bar & Grill for a quick one to celebrate before driving back to the farm. One drink turned into seven and before she knew it.......

 

[amethist]

She was in the next cell to Beau. Locked up for drunken behavior and assaulting a police officer.

MMM, she thought, how the heck am I going to get out of this one. With only a vague memory of the night before, and wondering what happened to the guy she was drinking with ????

 

[anni]

" Tallula Schwartzamkaarwfnerhefer! " Her thoughts were jerked back to reality as she heard her name barked by a weasley little guard. She picked her way over the rest of the drunks and assorted miscreants to the cell door. " Come on, Schwartzamkaarwtnerhefer, you've made bail". The guard jerked his head to a figure standing behind him. "This guy says he knows you, look familiar?" It was the officer she'd assaulted the night before, but for the first time she saw the name his ID badge. Her heart pounded, she felt faint, could it be? Yet there the name was, "Schwartzamkaarwfnerhefer", the officer wearing it smiled shyly and said............

 

[sisu]

....is that you Tallula my darling?? I cannot believe after all these years you are alive. I was told you died in that freak accident on the farm with the two cows. As soon as they told me you died, I ran off and away from that farm....I couldn't bear looking at those cows knowing what they did to my sweet love Tallula. How can this be that you are here??

 

[anni]

It was no wonder she hadn't recognized Leslie, he'd changed so! The spindly limbs of youth had become veritable soaring, solid oak trees but she should have recognized those squinty blue eyes now peering so near-sightedly into hers.The accident, if you could call it that! It all came back to her now, the malevolent gleam in the eyes of those cows in their deadly intent, her father's revenge on the black hearted creatures. The smell of beef still sickened her

 

[Brontie]

.. but vegetarianism suited her. She lied to her friends when they asked her about it because the real reason she became a vegetarian was so unbelievably gross.

 

[anthony]

As Tallula and Leslie check themselves into a 5 star hotel for the night... and after some anticipated (bow-chica-bow-bow)... Tallula fell asleep, when suddenly she began having a nightmare of cows charging her, tossing her in the air and playing aerial badminton with her body, when suddenly....

 

[anni]

Her father appeared in her dream as he had that terrible day with his trusty howitzer, the crazed cows becoming a rain of Steak Diane as her rescuer blasted the demonically enraged bovines again and again. Boomboomboom. The sound reverberated in her mind but did not stop, penetrating her sleep. Boomboomboom! She bolted upright at the same time as Leslie, sharing horrifed looks as they realized someone was banging on thier hotel room door! The livid blue lights making up the numbers on the bedside clock read 3:06.

 

[Serene]

Florence is so distraught about being forgotten at home that she climbs to the top of the roof with the intention of jumping to her death. As she reaches the highest point of the roof she sees, off in the distance, what appears to be her dead father walking around on the road. She screams out, ".......