The Rabbit Hole Is My Safe Place

[ladee]

I'm not suicidal. But I am depressed and so sad I have to remind myself to breathe.

I go to the rabbit hole because it's quite. Its familiar and I know my way out. I only stay there long enough to feel my feelings.


The raw , naked grief. The years of hanging on to someone who hates me to such a degree that I know now I was in denial about the extent of that raw hatred.

I want to grieve. I want to wail to the sky how bad this hurts. I haven't been in this kind of pain for a long time.

Not taking guilt with me this time. Just raw pain of how powerless I am. Questions that I need aswers to and may never get.

I want to get the pain out. I am not going to let it own me. I still have a hard fought for life to live.

I love myself enough to get it out. To not stay stored in my body. He is the only person on the planet who can bring about this gut wrenching grief.

I am going to do what is necessary to start this part of my healing journey

The sooner I deal with it..the sooner it's done

The rabbit hole is my safe place. Not a place to hide..but to heal.Animals are smart. They go ,to secluded places to heal.

I can do this and I will. I need the respite of solitude.

Onward on my healing journey. I will leave the lies in a Box...and destroy the box when I surface.

See you all in awhile.
Going to do healing work.

Thank you @She Cat , thanks for the beautiful ecard.
I know you understand.
I am not alone.

 

[Casey_03]

I can do this and I will

Yes, you will. Chin up. Know that we are all thinking about you and you are in our hearts.

 

[Ronin]

Peaceful & Healing time to you, @ladee. :)

 

[VioletButterfly]

:hug::inlove::hug: Please take gentle care. Leaving you in His grace to heal. I'm here too should you need a shoulder or two. VB

 

[Esterio]

sending gentle hugs to my friend you are in my thoughts ladee Take care and be gentle you are a wonderful soul.

Peace be safe my friend

 

[Deleted member 541]

@ladee Ahhhhh. Depression. Used to be my best friend. Or should I say, not so best friend. It's a process, you know this, we've discussed it. This is normal for what you are dealing with. There are stages to go through and some come back because we haven't quite dealt with certain issues. It's hard, it hurts, it sucks, but you know the truth, you know the answers, you know.........

Hang in there my friend....

 

[GrayOwl]

:hug:

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

Take all the time you need, @ladee, knowing we will be here for you when you choose to resurface. Sending you healing thoughts ...

Love, Lola

 

[void]

@ladee

Outstanding post!
So REAL!

Perhaps abreaction is what you need..............?

Literally, scream, hit, punch, rage, howl, thrash, .......give all of that stored fight/flight EXPRESSION.....let it explode out of you.

Fwiw, i can relate to agony.......may you find a way to be free of it.:hug:

 

[Crow]

Courage and peace to you dear one. Feeling the grief and sadness takes more strength than anything else we do in our lives. You are incredibly courageous and such a gifted healer. I'll see you when you emerge renewed. All my love.

 

[XXbabydollXX]

Sending warm hugs and tea Ladee.

 

[shimmerz]

You are loved my friend. I imagine all of us standing in a circle around you keeping guard so that you may rest. Perhaps a new and improved version of your rabbit hole?