The Sense Of Autonomy, Have You Needed To Develop It? What Helped?

[Seasounds]

Due to early abuse, I'm working on completing certain developmental stages; autonomy is my current exploration. If you have worked on this stage, or worked on knowing you could safely explore the world, please share what has helped. Thanks!

 

[Changing4Best]

Nature walks have helped me. I did a lot of mountain hiking in my teens and early 20s. I went with my sister and her dog. We felt safe, even though her dog was a sweetie and probably would never have even hurt a fly if she'd sat on it! None the less, one time we did get scared, this man was just strange, but nothing happened, We watched our backs for while after he had run into him though!

We got good exercise, we became closer as sisters, we enjoyed the beauty of nature and we felt free and uninhibited. Those were some of the happiest times in my life.

Other things I did were to walk the sidewalks of New York City during broad daylight. Walking is a healthy exercise and being around so many people was safe, because no one would try to harm you with 20-100 witnesses within 20 feet! I lived in that area, but any big city will do in this way. There is no need to fear people in large numbers, as they mind their own business for the most part, unless you seem to be in some kind of need. Then they come to your rescue! (Like if you trip and fall).

I live in a small town now, so I don't go out past dark, but I still do a good bit of walking (I don't own a vehicle). We have sidewalks nearby where I live. There are stores nearby and there is almost always a car driving by or nearby. There are other pedestrians here and there too. Folks will greet you with a pleasant "Good day" or "How are you?" or just a tip of their head in some kind of recognition of you being there and alive. Everyone is polite and friendly. I love it here!

 

[The Albatross]

I did a bit on autonomy as a self study/self parenting thing. It helped me to keep in mind that "independence" and autonomy are sort of synonymous. I also did some self examination on the two main child development phases where the traits are developed (toddler and teenager) and bore in mind that "autonomy" often isn't fully developed even in the best circumstances til young adulthood (like 21-25 or so).

Here's a link to some basic stuff about being independent: http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Independent

I also widened it out to self-efficacy and resilience and did some goal challenges to challenge my thoughts/feelings/core beliefs and identify what really was a difficulty with maturation and development and what wasn't.

 

[The Albatross]

Here's a quick bit about self-efficacy versus self esteem... hope something is assistive for you.
http://www.differencebetween.com/difference-between-self-esteem-and-vs-self-efficacy/

 

[The Albatross]

Hey glad that may help.... the difference between a sense of "self worth" v.s. "self esteem" may be assistive as well. Me, I went with self worth and sort of cringe now when people talk about self esteem cuz I studied up on that. Choosing or re-examining core beliefs rather than just accepting thoughts or beliefs to be true is/has been REALLY worthwhile gal.

 

[Just Sayin']

Self-respect is a biggie too.

I learned it as:

Self-esteem = Self-Acceptance + Self-respect + Self-responsibility

• Self-Esteem: the view and opinion you hold about yourself and your worth
• Self-Acceptance: I accept who I am, I accept trauma, I accept my PTSD, I accept that it's not fair, I accept that it sucks, and I accept that I cannot change it. It's basically the serenity prayer applied to our personalities, our disorders, our bodies, etc. It doesn't mean you like it or agree, but that you've stopped denying it or fighting it.
• Self-Respect: integrity, building confidence by keeping your word and meeting your goals (internal); setting boundaries and enforcing them with respectful assertiveness (external)
• Self-Responsibility: the belief that you can effectively see to your needs; for me as a PTSD sufferer this has been the work of believing that "I am no longer the child I was. I am not helpless now. I am not powerless now. I have more knowledge, resources, emotional tools, freedom, options, and physical strength now. There really was nothing I could do then. But this is now. This is different. I now have the autonomy, tools, resources, and strength to see to my own needs AND/OR to seek out help to do so."

 

[Bloomy]

Autonomy....
My circumstances makes autonomy dificult.

But today I thought atleast I can do my share by takin better care of my self. Thats also autonomy,
Eat nutrious food that feeds my organism proper. Go for more nature walks to explore and to experience oneoness, more often yoga, re build my fysical strength in the fuctional atheltic way, start to read again and be curious and learn things just for fun.

And also I need to adress how I interact with others. Thats the hardest part. Hoping the first things I wrote can aid me in this second part.