The traumatised brain & paragraphs

[biaaw677]

And if you know this about yourself, you learn how to go back and insert breaks. It doesn't take an...

The clarification of focusing on the boundaries and etiquette re diaries, forums and thread titles is helpful, thank you

You say "I don't think anyone can confidently say that it's most likely triggering, any more than it's most likely just hard to read without breaks", but in my experience reading something, or recounting a view on something can trigger trauma re-experience that becomes too exhausting to enable one to "if you know this about yourself, you learn how to go back and insert breaks. It doesn't take any amount of re-writing. Just...breaks.". It depends on the nature and detail of ones personal trauma story and ones degree of suffering at the time of posting; e.g. consider school/work related bullying, or being belittled for expressing oneself.

In other ways if a trauma victim has a physical disability, say one that limits vision of dexterity then that compounds things too.

 

[mumstheword]

@The Albatross

Agreed, it is a matter of people suffering from Complex Trauma under...

I found this helpful. I've been making an effort with paragraphing after becoming more self-and-other aware via reading here.

It's not something I'll necessarily think of doing, in a heightened, emotionally cathartic state, which I can be, when posting.

I missed a lot of school and have suffered trauma-brain pretty much all my life, and as such my literacy skills are somewhat haphazard.

So I really appreciate the guidance and explicit instruction as to how to encourage views and responses to my posts.

I can also relate to the reference to being triggered by not getting any responses.
That happened to me this morning, in response to starting my diary, laying it all out there and feeling ignored and vulnerable because nobody posted anything supportive on my daily expose of yesterday.

I voiced that too, in the diary.

It helps to remind me that it's not a reflection of my worth or acceptability, if I get no verbal responses or encouraging words. That it is my process and just getting it down is helpful, in and of itself.

It also helped that I had a great phone session with my T and she gave me unbelievably complimentary acknowledgement.

I did actually need that too.

 

[joeylittle]

or recounting a view on something can trigger trauma re-experience that becomes too exhausting to enable one to "if you know this about yourself, you learn how to go back and insert breaks. It doesn't take any amount of re-writing. Just...breaks."

Yes, I understand this when one is the writer. When one is the reader, of course one can become triggered - but the issue is, can one insert paragraph breaks while writing.

Part of being here is simply about getting it out there. And part of it is challenging yourself to get to your own next level. Whether that's paragraph breaks, or anything else.

 

[joeylittle]

It helps to remind me that it's not a reflection of my worth or acceptability, if I get no verbal responses or encouraging words. That it is my process and just getting it down is helpful, in and of itself.

Well said, and very important, always.

 

[mumstheword]

Correction; write a, not verbal responses.

Also I just wanted to add that I only write on my phone, and it has a horrible auto-correct function. That triggers the crap out of me, and messed up perfectly good spelling and words with inappropriate ones.

Sometimes all my writing skills and energy is taken.up dealing with this and paraphrasing gets left behind. Sorry about that, and for all the crappy typos and wrong words my auto-correct "corrects" for me.

 

[biaaw677]

@mumstheword

Wondering if when you say "I only write on my phone, and it has a horrible auto-correct function. That triggers the crap out of me, and messed up perfectly good spelling and words with inappropriate ones." you are mixing up trauma triggers with just plain old frustration with your equipment? In my view, both are understandable, but frustration with one's equipment is perhaps more easily remedied. Perhaps you can turn off the auto-correct, consider getting/using a different phone or using a laptop/PC.

 

[Muttly]

When we are triggered I'm not sure we are always great about making paragraphs. We certainly try. And as the writer, sometimes my thoughts.... don't feel organized into paragraphs. Sometimes out of desperation, we will write when we are like that just so we can get the thoughts out and knowing that after we can start finding more clarity. I'm not sure I'm explaining this well and writing this makes me realize we do the overflowing writing much less.

The added challenge is that writing is always a challenge for us. We are pretty dang dysgraphic (troubles with writing). Without a computer we can't write much at all. Even with a computer it takes a lot of effort to make the spelling and word order write. So, at times, in this forum, we have to make a choice. Express ourself and put a little less effort into spelling, punctuation and grammar or worry about all of that not have the energy/resources to try to express ourselves. In fact, I wish I'd started timing from the time we started writing this reply to now, to see just how long it's taken.

We also can not read blocks of texts. We are not as dyslexic as dysgraphic, but we do have that issue too. We also can't read long sentences well. Add in all the focus issues that can come with PTSD and that's why we sometimes disappear from here and don't typically reply to a lot of posts. I'm making a sort of vague distinction, but they do sort of feel different. I do have more troubles reading with the PTSD is worse. Like others stated there's a sort of information overload. With the dyslexia, if it's a long paragraph, I can do things like slow down, break it into pieces, etc and be able to parse it out. When I'm PTSD-ish, my brain just sort of goes "nope!".

 

[biaaw677]

@Muttly

Thanks for identifying another disability, "dyslexic as dysgraphic", that we all should give consideration when we read posts.

I feel sure that everybody who contributes posts in these forums does their best to convey their message.

Who are we to criticize the way others write, spell and format their writing? We ought not to expect others to accept our trauma ridden presentation and behavours if we are not prepared to accept others just as they are.

 

[mumstheword]

@mumstheword

Wondering if when you say "I only write on my phone, and it has a...

Yes, it is frustrating, but my reactions get pretty overblown. It's like constantly being interrupted and corrected with a complete miscontruing of what you were saying, and then, the amount of times I've posted and then seen what it's autocorrected to, to totally derail and turn my post into nonsense, is tiring and embarrassing, to say the least.

I do need to get a laptop, I have one lined up.

Unfortunately, It doesn't seem to have the option to disable the autocorrect, this phone.
I imported an app once, one with a giant array of emoticons, that had a different autocorrect function with it.
It was soooooooo good, a much more sensical, user-friendly one, but unfortunately it used ridiculous amounts of power and was doing other suss, covert things with my phone, so I ditched it.

I wish I could afford a different phone.

I am now having to think about saving money for a stint in an inpatients unit at a private hospital, on top of paying for my daughter's expensive braces.

We don't even have a car on the road due to my partner's, and my trauma related health issues.
He gets sporadic work, I've been way too ill to work or even study this year and still have no license, so getting work, is a pipedream for me at the moment.

Money, is pretty tight.

Thank you for the suggestions and insight though. I can't wait to get access to a computer to post from. It will be dreamy :-)

 

[mumstheword]

paraphrasing

Here's an example of how my phone derailed and redescribed what I'd said, to something other than what I'd written.
The word is supposed to be paragraphing.

I sometimes forget to proof read too.
I really am sorry.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Also I just wanted to add that I only write on my phone, and it has a horrible auto-correct function. That triggers the crap out of me, and messed up perfectly good spelling and words with inappropriate ones.

Turn it off? Mine is off.

I'm dyslexic and I have to read a sentence quite a few times to understand it. If things are in big blobs of text, my eyes (or maybe my brain) gets lost of what to re-read. If it is in paragrahs it is much easier to know where to go to not re-read too far. Not sure if that makes any sense but more on the pro-paragraph.

Add PTSD brain to that where blobs of text seem very overwhelming and you get a mess when I try to read a blob of text. My brain literally shuts down in the early part of it and even if a post is broken into paragraphs, if it is a very long post my brain still shuts down mid post and so I tend to missunderstand or I will reply just towards the title or the small bit I could understand or I won't reply at all as I tend to get frustrated and just leave the thread.

I am guitly of both not breaking posts into paragraphs and posting very long posts. I do think super emotional things are the ones that I just wrote without breaks to "just get it out" and then once it was out I had no more mental energy left to then go re-read it to then break it up.

I do, though, try to remind myself to break it up as I am orginally writing and I think that has helped a ton. I will actually ask myself if it's a new topic or a new thought and that is where I will put in a break. So, hopefully that helps some as then, even super emotional things can get at least some breaks in them.

 

[mumstheword]

Turn it off? Mine is off.

I'm dyslexic and I have to read a sentence quite a few times to u...

I don't think I can turn It off, on this phone. I've tried to find a way and it doesn't seem to have that option.
Looking forward to being able to afford a phone that does though :-).