Therapist Asked About "bruise"

[Bituti]

I'm know this sounds stupid, but I don't want him to think I'm crazy. I don't want him to not like me. I've read that therapists many times don't want to deal with this and find it repulsive. I don't want him to quit. I realize I'm whining and that doesn't Mae sense, and I tell myself that over and over, but when I'm face to face with him, reason doesn't matter.

 

[Rekorah]

Wanting people to like you, wanting your therapist to approve of you is pretty common in CPTSD cases. Or really any abuse that has been done at the hands of an authority-be it a family member, a boss, whatever.

It's part of the survival mechanism-the idea that if you're "good" they won't hurt you.

It's also a PITA to get around. You may want to tell him your having this issue (afraid he won't like you) and see what he says.

 

[Rifo]

At first e tried to assure me he was safe. He told me he had never attacked a client and never would. He even went so far as to say he had worked very hard for his degree and license and wouldn't want to lose it. Now he just tells me I'll have to trust him.

 

[Oveve]

I went back to see him. I was half way hoping he would ask again and half way hoping he wouldnt. He didnt. Two weeks before the next appointment. I sent him an email. I cannot seem to talk when I am in therapy but think of what i should have said after i leave. I am scared he will quit if i say too much. I am also scared he will think because it is so minor that it is just silly and attention seeking behavior.

 

[Bipef]

Update
I am trying hard at this therapy thing, but i kind of suck at it. I decided to email the therapist and let him know, but the message was cryptic. Basically, i had implied in a previous email that my cat might have done it. I didnt outright say it, but the implication was there. In the second email (over a week later), I said that while my cat does scratch, the mark under my watch was not from the cat. He didnt mention it in session. Maybe it isnt a big deal?

 

[Epewe]

It is a big deal! But is it a big deal to you? Do you want to address it?
i struggled with understanding how therapy works too, but this is it - you're talking to another human being who has developed the skills to help you.
If uou trust the therapist and feel they're good for you, the more forthcoming you are the more they can help you.
You're hinting at something here, maybe hoping the therapist will understand what you're hinting at.
if it feels important to you, tell him/her and ask for hell with it.
That's what they're for!

 

[Zamezag]

I mean "help" with it - guessing you don't need or want more hell (:

 

[Viza]

Maybe it isnt a big deal?

I can think of a whole lot of reasons why they didn't ask.

- Waiting for you to bring it up.
- Haven't read it (for a few dozen reasons; from my bad I forgot to send it / lost wifi so it's saved to drafts; to Internet glitch it landed in their spam box; to they got 400 messages that day and haven't gotten to it, yet, ; to they're having their kitchen remodeled and the power has been out all week. Etc.)
- They intended to bring it up, but the session went differently than planned
- Etc. Really I could go on all day.

Meaning don't try and mind read. If you want to know why they didn't being it up? Ask them.

 

[Owoka]

I don't want him to think it is an attention thing. I don't want him to think I'm absolutely crazy. At some level, I don't want to be thought of as too flawed to help, etc.

 

[Akoz]

I can think of a whole lot of reasons why they didn't ask.

- Waiting for you to bring it up.
- Haven't read it (for a...

I know. I also know I'm not good in session because I get scared and freak out. Thanks for the advice though.

 

[Edo]

He/she is more likely to think it's an attention thing if you keep hinting but don't say. If you bring it up openly it's more like you're taking responsibility for it but you want help with it.
Waiting for your therapist to address it is putting a lot of weight on them and asking them to work harder to understand where you're at.
You're driving this boat - steer it where you need it to go!

 

[Uwed]

He/she is more likely to think it's an attention thing if you keep hinting but don't say. If you bring it up openly it's...

I understand. I only hinted once. I won't do it again. I probably shouldn't have. I will either quit or tell him.