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Therapist Dominates The Conversation Topics?

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EveHarrington

MyPTSD Pro
I think it’s time to find a new therapist. My current therapist tells me I’m not allowed to talk about my ex. Uhm, ok? There were a lot of issues with the relationship including him hitting me but I’m just supposed to not talk about it and move on? She also says I should try online dating even though I’ve told her that I don’t want to date again. She just said “well maybe not right now…” and in the interest of not arguing I said nothing. (I don’t want to date again at all.) This isn’t even where my headspace is and yet she’s telling me about her other clients who have found someone from online dating. (I hate the whole concept of finding someone based on looks alone. Thanks but no thanks.) Why even go if I can’t get help working on my issues? I have obsessive thoughts and I fawn like there’s no tomorrow, but I’m not allowed to get help for that.

I feel that in general she just doesn’t listen to me at all and therapy isn’t helping me beyond having someone to talk to.
 
I have obsessive thoughts and I fawn like there’s no tomorrow, but I’m not allowed to get help for that.
Does she know this specifically? If so. I agree. Look for a new one.

Sad it's like that for you but reminds me of this one counselor I had. I had more intelligence and I think I intimidated her or she just didn't like me but for me when I talked about my beliefs she would make faces. Unprofessional stuff.
 
I feel that in general she just doesn’t listen to me at all and therapy isn’t helping me beyond having someone to talk to.
This is a very valid way to feel, based on what your experience of her has been like lately.

Do you think it might help you get some clarity to take an extended break, and see how things go, look for a new therapist maybe, but be able to go back to her in eight or so weeks if you want to see if you still feel the same way, or are starting to just feel stressed without the regular outlet of therapy?
 
I agree with everyone above.

I will pass along the advice about finding a therapist that I got a long time ago, and has served me and others well.
1. Sit down and decide what is bothering you MOST what would make most difference to your quality of life.
2. Pick out at least 3 therapists and write down their names and phone numbers.
3. Call each therapist. Tell the therapist what you want to work on. Ask if they have experience with that problem/s. Ask what their approach to therapy is? Ask how long they think it will take to see significant improvement. keep notes on the answers.
4. (If you have a hard time calling and talking to a prospective therapist, ask someone else to do the 'interview" for you, and listen on speaker phone.)
5. After you have talked to three, ask if there was one you felt a connection with? Did that person have experience with what you are dealing with? Did they offer some reasonable time frame?
6. If you didn't feel a connection and/or didn't get substantive answers - pick three more names and try again until you do.

It is really hard, in my experience, to pick a therapist out of the blue. This method makes my part kind of mechanical. And that gets me past total randomness... I learned that there are definitely therapists out there who are Not For Me! and didn't waste my time/money,

Once you have a relationship with someone, you can move on to other issues or change focus...
 
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