Therapist Just Asked Me Not To Come Back

[katiekat]

I oringally went into therapy for help with career issues, and about four months into therapy, my therapist diagnosed me with PTSD. He told me he wasn't a trauma therapist and suggested I find someone who was more experienced in that area, but he made it my choice to find a new therapist. I finally starting with another therapist (trauma therapist) and she dropped me because I told her that her communication style during my last session with her was extremely triggering. I don't like how that ended and I talked to my new therapist about it. I think you will eventually come to peace with your therapist dropping you-at least they were honest with you about their skills and limitations. Maybe you can ask for a referral to someone more qualified? My first therapist gave me several contacts to try. Hang in here-you will find someone who is better suited to help you and you will be thankful that you didn't waste a bunch of time with the last one.

 

[Jane.l]

Yeah I get that - you know logically that she is acting professionally but emotionally you are feeling like that abandoned child and emotion ALWAYS trumps logic. I guess get out there and find a new T ASAP and deal with what's just happened before it turns into anything bigger, the act of being really pro active helps me feel more in control when I get eaten up with emotion.

 

[sun seeker]

@Fadeaway, I'm so sorry, I can imagine how you are feeling. Abandonment is such a primal thing for many of us. You know what though? From what you've written on other threads, she just wasn't worth it. It's rotten luck that the mental health services are so useless where you live, but if there is even one good trauma therapist in your area, let the winds of fortune help you find each other!

 

[katiekat]

I agree with @Jane.l Thats exactly what I did. The day after my last therapist triggered me, I went into research mode and contacted 5 potential therapists.Make a list of qualifications for the therapist and be really clear and upfront when you go to meet them. Treat it like you're interviewing them to make sure they can help you with what you need. I actually interviewed my current therapist three times before committing to seeing her regularly. Trust your instincts and really try to determine if you feel comfortable talking to them. I even let my therapist know i was interviewing her and she was supportive and understanding of what I was doing. I even flat out asked her if she thought she could help me or not because I dont think a therapist would WANT to take on a client they were pretty sure they couldn't help-what would be the point?

 

[ghotiff]

Maybe a reframe
...you left her...you asked your T to step up to the plate and discuss your traumas, but she couldn't. You demanded what you needed and that is such a huge achievement.

That she couldn't meet your needs is disappointing to say the least and it sucks when it gets wrapped up in abandonment issues. Hope you find the right T soon.

 

[Friday]

Asking you not to come back makes it sound like you did something wrong. You didn't.

Admitting that she doesn't have the training or the skill? Not your fault.

 

[ms spock]

Abandonment and attachment issues bring me to my knees so I feel for you @Fadeaway.

 

[Rumors]

Yep, that would rock me too. I would have to spend some serious time rationalizing the situation. However, you did nothing wrong and are a brave soul for trying to address what you have going on inside. You will find someone who clicks.
I guess I am shocked she didn't offer to help you find someone... Boo on her.

 

[shimmerz]

I have switched T's several times because they are no longer able to address what is going on with me. I think it is the natural cycle of trauma. I would look at it as you are growing, healing. You are getting into deeper things and need to find someone who can deal with those things. I get the primal wounding involved in this and that it is not easy to override that. Try and challenge it if you can. :hug:

 

[Justmehere]

Actually, she is kind of abandoning you. Once a therapist establishes a relationship with a client, if they later decide the client is beyond their training - they still have to see the client for a period of time to help the client transition to someone else. Otherwise it's patient abandonment and there are laws therapists are supposed to follow to prevent patients from feeling so abandoned.

All this is to say - this is not at all your fault. She isn't the right fit, but that doesn't mean you are too much as a person. It means you have a new chapter of your journey to embark on.

Abandonment and attachment issues really shake me to my core. When my last therapist quit, it felt like the world was ending. Intellectually, I knew I would be ok, even good to move on, but physically, man, it hurt and really shook me. Hang in there. :hug:

 

[Pencil]

Actually, she is kind of abandoning you. Once a therapist establishes a relationship with a client, if they later decide the client is beyond their training - they still have to see the client for a period of time to help the client transition to someone else. Otherwise it's patient abandonment and there are laws therapists are supposed to follow to prevent patients from feeling so abandoned.

I'm glad you said it.

 

[shimmerz]

Me too. I didn't realize this. Thank you. I thought it was every man for themselves.