Therapist Wants To Cut Down Our Sessions

[1127sg]

ive seen my T for two years. For the last year I've seen her twice a week. Yesterday she said that she thinks I am doing well enough to go down to once a week. I started crying and told her I was glad she thought I was doing well, but I don't feel I can go to once a week. She noted all the things I've added positively to my life. I then copped an attitude and said " oh, let's see, we've talked about her abuse 20 years ago--check; we've talked about family issues growing up--check. Yep she's well. Let's go down to once a week. Those things aren't relative anymore. Then I said something I really regret. I said I'm sure she has a waiting list and someone more needy could use my extra hour. She said yes she does have a six month waiting list and she works six days a week the way it is and stretches herself really thin. But that has nothing to do with this conversation. If she felt i needed twice a week she would not have brought it up. But she feels it's doing both of us a disservice by me coming twice and it would not be ethical of her to lead me on thinking I needed to see her twice. she wishes I could be overjoyed at the fact I only need to go once. And her wish for me is that my appointment with her isn't the highlight of my week, which she gets the feeling it is. (She's right). I love my therapist. We have a wonderful relationship. But I can't stop thinking that I won't be able to manage seeing her only once a week. She DOES let me email her in between appointments, although she had to have a chat with me recently about the amount of emails i was sending her. Talk about feeling shame. Does anybody else who has been cut down feel a bit "put off" or like you don't think you can handle a whole week when you're used to twice a week? I know she knows what's best for me and I trust her totally. It's just with this I feel scared. Oh, she said she looks forward to our sessions and is proud of the strides I've made. This is just another one of them. Thanks for your responses in advance.

 

[digger]

Sounds like you have a good, professional, therapist there :tup: I understand feeling worried about dropping down to seeing her once a week instead of twice, but it's great that she's seeing the improvement in you and wants you to try it. It sounds like she has your needs central to her reasons for proposing it. It might take a bit of adjustment on your part, but worth giving it a go, no? It sounds like she has your best interest at heart, so if it is really too much for you then I'm sure she will reassess things. As a good therapist though, part of her job is to help you to a point where you can rely on yourself more and depend on her less.

 

[Friday]

That's actually part of good therapy, in an ideal case... Transitioning to less and less time so that you're using what you've learned more and more in your real life. Ideal in that both in that it doesn't suddenly break off, and in that you're not being held back to a level you've already progressed out of (it teaches learned helplessness / inability to accurately judge your own successes & progression, etc. to be held back)

As to suddenly feeling <gaping chasm maw gulch OMFG whaddam I gonna DO??? No no no no no no nooooooooooooooo> When a a therapist cut sessions?

LOL... Yes, absolutely. Not PTSD, still haven't done trauma therapy. Different disorder. But the first couple times that happened? Holy punched in the gut batman! Reeling!

Something that helps is to -in the beginning- still act as if. Set that hour aside & journal what you "want" to talk about with them, but they aren't there. Or fill that hour with therapy homework. Or go to a group instead of 1:1. Or , or, or. Something therapy-esque. This will fade in time, as your life takes over. Then, when you switch to twice a month, or once a month check ins? Do the same there, too :) it's part of transitioning into taking care of yourself, more. Like using a crutch instead of a wheelchair. <grin> Had a therapist early on recommend this (act as if) to me as "homework". We'd talk about what I came up with during "my" session, at my next "them" session for several weeks, and then periodically as stuff shifted (first time I forgot! OMG....No no no honey, that's a good thing!... What? Oh. Oh! Right! :D )

 

[Deleted member 29920]

My story is very different but I know the feeling you express. It is discouraging and can make you feel useless (even though you're not) hugs

 

[Laurie2001]

I think if you don't feel ready than it is wrong to pressure you to stop. And if you are sending her so many emails it is even more indication that you maybe need to continue.

 

[DogwoodTree]

Something that helps is to -in the beginning- still act as if. Set that hour aside & journal what you "want" to talk about with them, but they aren't there. Or fill that hour with therapy homework. Or go to a group instead of 1:1. Or , or, or. Something therapy-esque.

This is what I do on the weeks when I have to miss a session for some reason, and it does help me get through it. Not only that, but it has helped me get a little perspective on the sessions when I do have them (usually once a week for me).

At the beginning of the year, I spent the whole week counting down the days and hours until my next appointment. I was still doing that until about 2-3 months ago. Missed a couple of sessions because of me or the Ts being out of town..that was tough...but it was good practice to realize that I can handle more on my own than I thought I could. They suggested I add in other activities as part of my own, self-designed "outpatient program." I was already doing a few things, but added a couple of others. Having other events on the calendar to focus my thoughts on helps balance it all out some.

 

[1127sg]

She actually equated it to a prescription. If my doctor said I could cut down on taking so and so medication because I was doing better I would hopefully be happy about it. Her wish for me is that I will, in time, realize there was a time I needed to see her twice a week. But just like taking a medication, I'm getting healthier. She has a good point there. Is just a dependency is I know.

That's actually part of good therapy, in an ideal case... Transitioning to less and less time...