Therapist Won't Call Me Back?

[Tinyflame]

Maybe no one has to be wrong or right, maybe it just wasn't ideal?

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

@Junebug You're probably right. It's easier to just pass the blame to her - that way, I don't have to own any of the problem. Ugh. Okay, trying to reframe this in my mind ....

But also, is it strange that she would tell me not to continue therapy? that I don't need it? This does strike me as really weird ....

 

[Tinyflame]

Best wishes @theshadowoftheliving . It's never easy. I guess an absence of malice means something too. :hug:

 

[greenleaf]

@theshadowoftheliving wait! It doesn't sound to me like @Junebug was asking you to blame yourself for anything in that post! Sometimes stuff that's not ideal just happens. This situation was upsetting to you; please just be gentle with yourself and work to get a good new T, I am rooting for you.

 

[Tinyflame]

Thank you @greenleaf . :hug:

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Thanks, guys. I guess the consensus is that she's just not a good fit? I've been blaming myself for all the tension between us ... but maybe it's partially her or atleast just the dynamic between us? It's hard, because were the same age and in the same professional positions in a lot of ways (although completely different fields). To top it off, we even have the same first name. I've been struggling with the similarities but am told it's just me having problems whenever I try to address it.

I'm also confused, because I see things happen on her end that she then passes off as being my problem. Things like this. And her telling me to stop asking her for referrals. And her blowing me off when I tried to address what I perceived as safety concerns over dissociating so frequently ....

I feel gaslit. I think I'm overreacting. But I don't think this is all in my head.

 

[greenleaf]

@theshadowoftheliving -- it's quite possible that she just does not "get" ptsd with dissociation. That can be true with many professional therapists and other mental health folks. My T says that a lot of Ts don't get the right training to work with us, and then there are also folks with personal issues that preclude them from accurately discerning their own vs. our own issues. Lots of people here suggest a "trauma therapist" and I agree! A *good* trauma therapist, not just any... :rolleyes: I finally jumped ship from a T 2 years ago who really didn't understand how to work with dissociated parts well; my new one does, and it's such a relief, I feel much more understood, and feel like I'm making much more progress in these 2 years than in the 10 before it. Life is short, get a good T who fits you!

It doesn't sound like you're overreacting, you shouldn't be having to second and third guess yourself over this stuff, believing our own reality can be really hard for us to start with, and this T sounds like she's actually making that worse for you. Switch! It is hard but you can do it.:)

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

thanks, @greenleaf. I think it's obvious that this isn't really working for me. It's surprising, though, because she IS a trauma specialist - on paper, this should be an excellent fit. It's just … not.

Sigh. I wish this were easier.