Therapists couch smells bad

[KwanYingirl]

I’ve been going to my current therapist for many years. Not sure exactly how many. At least 6 or 7. Almost every week. The building is old and very worn out.his office is not visually serene. The couch is so old, he has a large bedspread over it with old pillows on top. I let all this go because I bonded well with him. He’s been very patient with me, but over the last month, I smell perfume when I open his door and the couch smells like body odor. I can’t stand it.this week I took in a fleece throw to put on the couch but it didn’t work. If I keep my head turned to the left I don’t smell it, but if I turn to look at my dog, I do. It hits me like a ton of bricks.
Annie is not absorbing any smell like she usually does, so I am questioning what is really going on.

I do feel stuck in therapy. I feel like he’s not that happy to see me. I have been cancelling after Karen died, he says isolation is dangerous. Perhaps that’s so, it’s just what I do. If I don’t get to the bottom of the smell on the couch I won’t be able to go deep emotionally.

I wonder if it’s a body memory. I say this because when I turn my head, I don’t smell it. He thinks it is the bully stick Annie chews while I’m there, but it’s not. It smells like BO mixed with urine mixed with rotting milk. Soon we’ll be able to open our windows. It is Spring finally but still quite cold out. At what point do I give in and stop going?

 

[somerandomguy]

Wow, I'm so sorry.

This is really out of left field so ignore if it's a terrible idea. Maybe you could wear some kind of surgical or painter's mask while you're there?

 

[KwanYingirl]

I wear masks everywhere. But not to therapy. I’ve been thinking I have to wear one there, too. Disappointing that it can’t be a safe place for me. Thank you for the idea. I never feel like anyone would take me seriously if I’m wearing a mask. When I fly, people move away from me. When I’m in a waiting room, people move away from me. My mask is a wall between me and society. One bonus? I never get colds or the flu!!

 

[UnicornSightings]

I wear masks everywhere. But not to therapy. I’ve been thinking I have to wear one there, too. Di...

Why do you wear so many masks? If I see someone with one on I move away because I figure they have some contagious disease so it’s best to stay far, far away. Have you told your t that you’d like to sit somewhere else? If the couch smells so bad, see if he will switch seats with you or if he would bring in alternative seating for you if he’s unable or unwilling to replace the couch.

 

[somerandomguy]

Disappointing that it can’t be a safe place for me.

Yeah, it sucks. But I guess it's part of rolling with life. It's unfair and I'm sorry you've been dealt that hand.

I never feel like anyone would take me seriously if I’m wearing a mask.

I live in a small city and I am starting to see people wearing masks in public more and more. We have a large Asian contingent that attends the local universities, and they've been doing it forever. It's actually been spreading to the general public because the local hospitals have been encouraging it, and so many people around here work in health care. It really does work to stop spreading contagions!

 

[KwanYingirl]

Yes it really does!!

That’s good ideas @UnicornSightings i was poisoned by chemicals at work in the 90’s and it damaged my lungs, brain and immune system. I react to anything that is off gassing. The grocery store is probably the worst place for chemical fumes because everything has perfume in it.

 

[Sideways]

Maybe “Your couch smells and I’m finding it really distracting.” Maybe T simply isn’t aware, because probably you use your sense of smell more than the average person.

Alternatively? Since you’re finding it increasingly difficult to get to therapy since your friend passed, your brain may now be associating the smell of that couch with a place that you don’t want to be. The smell of the couch has become a bit of an anxiety trigger perhaps. Like, your brain is, “There’s that smell, I must be in therapy, I don’t want to be here”.

When you walk out of therapy, the anxiety drops because you’re out of the confrontational environment. The smell disappears, and the smell going away is indicating to your brain “I’m safe now”, which would reinforce the trigger.

That would definitely be something you could raise with T.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@Sideways i have considered that possibility. My t has not been very helpful with my intense grief. All he said was loss makes us revisit other losses we’ve had and that I have had a large amount of losses in my life. He hasn’t given me any advice as to how to bring myself out of the depression I’m in. So I watched a Tara Brach talk on grief and loss and I now have a place to go where she leads a lovely meditation around the feelings of grief.
I’m not sure what is behind my desire to stop therapy with him. I feel stuck and trapped by my chemical sensitivities. It certainly would give me a good reason to quit. I think somethings going on in his life that is distracting him. He has strict boundaries about his life. So I can’t ask him if he’s ok without feeling that I’m disregarding his boundary. He genuinely has tried to figure out where the smells are coming from. There is a new therapist in another office in his suite and that is where I smell it. I wouldn’t be surprised if that person has either a plug in air poisoner or a poisonous candle. That I can get away from, I only detect it when just coming into the waiting room. The bathroom is spotless, so I think they are slobs. The smell on the couch reminds me of baby formula that’s gone bad. I’m going to ask him to get the couch cover and pillows cleaned. I’m going to offer him that I will pay for it. Someone else suggested changing my seat. So this is weird too. There is a nice easy chair in his office which also faces the couch. When I get too triggered about my grandfather abusing me, I feel him sitting in that chair glaring at me. Obviously, I have some work to do to stop imagining he’s punishing me for telling my secret. So how can I sit there. It’s just too wiggy for me.
I don’t know what to do. I canceled two appointments after Karen died because I simply couldn’t function (but what was really doing is isolate so I didn’t have to try and figure out what the words are to describe my feelings) when I came back and I was still sobbing, he got frustrated with me and just said “you’re sad” in a tone that was not helpful. I am very sensitive. My feelings get hurt very easily. My family enjoyed humiliating me because of it. I don’t have any relatives that care about me. I guess this is all tied up under the same tent. And I’m planning my escape before he can reject me. He’s clearly annoyed at me. But that’s out of character for him so I wonder if he’s struggling with something. I’d better lay this all out to him and accept what pain it may cause.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I’m going to take my tiger balm with me and put some under my nose. That should block the smell.

 

[NightSky]

He should definitely get it cleaned. And maybe you could try an essential oil necklace, first at home when you feel safe and calm so the smell becomes associated with those feelings. Then to your appointments. Not to cover up the grossness but to retrain your brain if/once he gets it cleaned and in the meantime.

 

[FauxLiz]

On a lighter note, maybe if you gifted him with a couple of bottles of an acceptable or no scent Febreeze for upholstery he might get the hint that it is more than just distracting and fix the issue.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Febreeze is the worst poison out there.