Therapists never want to talk about anything but my relationship.

[BrokenProject]

No, your therapy will be most effective if your T knows what's going on with you.

Do consider though...

I'm just going to clarify a few things really quick. I was kidnapped and trafficked after being sold by my abusive grandfather, It wasn't ever a relationship issue. since then I've made some really bad decisions about drugs, and relationships. Since I've met my current partners I've stayed clean, gotten help with nightmares, gained a lot of confidence in my sexuality, and have never felt safer. Most people only ever hear about BDSM relationships that aren't safe or stable. We don't do anything extreme and anything we do is talked about for months before we do it. We also use safe words and absolutely use aftercare. I have more control over myself as a submissive than I've ever had.

 

[UnicornSightings]

I'm just going to clarify a few things really quick. I was kidnapped and trafficked after being s...

Only you know best. If you’re confident in your relationship then you gotta find a therapist who is really hearing what you just posted.

 

[Suzetig]

I'm not disputing the nature of your relationship, just trying to explain why some Ts will focus in on it. There are Ts who are kink-friendly who might feel in more comfortable territory than the ones you've seen so far so it's worth asking when you're looking for a new one.

 

[BrokenProject]

I'm not disputing the nature of your relationship, just trying to explain why some Ts will focus in on...

I know why they do, I just wish they would listen and learn about it all.

 

[Stephernovas]

I was kidnapped and trafficked after being sold by my abusive grandfather, It wasn't ever a relationship issue.

I as well am not questioning your sexual preference, but I will challenge you on that quote above. How can you not have any relationship issues if your own grandfather did that to you? How long did this go on for? Kidnapping? As someone stated above, only you know best, but I do think it would be of benefit to talk about relationships at least to some degree. Relationship and sexuality, while they do relate to each other are entirely separate things. I have relationships and am intimate with my friends, but I am not sexual with them.

So, perhaps your therapists were working towards conversing about this with you? Again, I respect your choice and sexuality preferences, but I do find it a bit uncanny that you've had the exact same issue with the two separate therapists. Seems like there is a trend you may not be seeing. What do you think?

 

[EveHarrington]

I think you’re a bit naive if you think your trauma doesn’t affect your relationships.

Essentially what you’re saying is that victims of CSA shouldn’t have relationship problems because the CSA wasn’t a “relationship”. No, it doesn’t work that way.

My guess is that your therapists are seeing red flags in your relationship and that’s why they want to talk about it.

 

[BrokenProject]

I never said trauma doesn't affect relationships. All I'm saying is that my relationship isn't damaging to me personally. I have my issues with it sometimes but we always sit down and talk it out just like any monogamous relationship when it comes to trauma. I'll just take down this post if I can.

 

[Rumors]

I never said trauma doesn't affect relationships. All I'm saying is that my relationship isn't da...

I am not trying to be confrontational because I realize it is a sore subject, HOWEVER if everyone you meet in a healthy therapeutic atmosphere questions the poly/bdsm relationships, perhaps you aren’t seeing things as clearly as you might think. It sounds like your current relationships are headed where they take care of you instead of you taking care of yourself. AND! If it isn’t a big deal and you are happy and at peace in these relationships, it shouldn’t bother you to share whatever is necessary to move past that in a therapeutic relationship. Given your history, you owe it to yourself to delve into why it takes you being submissive to be happy in a relationship. Or, why a poly/bdsm relationship. At 19, you don’t have a clue where you will be in 20 years. Hear your therapist out. Talk about it so you can bring it in to the light and garner a better understanding of yourself GLOBALLY. best wishes!!!