Therapists - What has been your therapist experience?

[BrownLea12]

@Sideways You make such great points- sometimes it is the just showing up part that is the most important. That is how you learn what does and doesn’t work for you. Awesome perspective, and I thank you for sharing.

 

[Whirlwind]

Some were pretty shit in retrospect.....But I learned something from every single one of them.

Had to laugh this has been my experience.

I have had 2 main T's. Of my "2" .... #1 was truly excellent to start but later caused me grave confusion and abetted gaslighting me.

I stayed away from therapy for a time and but found #2 at a critical point and I think she was the best person on the planet for me at that time :-) Her approach so different, collaborative and I gained so much confidence with her/style. But I was different then too.

#1 came back into my life years later and to his credit he didn't shy away from what happened. He was there for me, he didn't have to be asked, he offered to testify and more. Whatever he could do. This was not a small thing at the time. He showed himself to be made of stronger stuff than I expected and he was a professional all the way.

So I forgive him. He is human. He was there for me in the end of his own accord when it would have been so easy not to get involved. I am grateful for having worked with #2. I am grateful for my brief time with several others during the "joint" counseling debacles. Those times....were glorious abject failures and yet therapeutic marvels for me. :-)

I feel fortunate as sideways said .....to have learned from them all. Did it all go perfect, eh......no.

Did they all mean well? Yes, I think so. Are some ill suited for some personalities and/or disorders? Yes.

Geez what a saga it has been...but looking back I have come a very long way and a lot due to their help. Where I am today is such a better place despite a few challenges.

Best,

Whirlwind

 

[DharmaGirl]

My first therapist had 15 years of experience with PTSD, and was what I needed at the time I think. I was very suicidal, and can't remember how many times I was in the hospital for SI or attempts. He forged a huge attachment since I don't attach very well. Then he found a new job after reassuring me he wasn't going anywhere for 3 years. I had had a dream where he was moving south, and he went on and on how he wasn't moving. He knew then he was taking a job which was south of his job at the time. Then told me I was better and had no more trauma to work on. What?? I had only gotten through some of the horrible traumas up to age 6.

I quit (again) and he sent me a note saying goodbye. I thought about it and went back, but for the 3 months he knew he was leaving, he started treating me like he didn't want me to be there anymore. When he told me he was leaving, It all made sense. He apologized for his behavior and I pretended I was ok with it. I also pretended to be happy for him and on his way he went, assuring me he would email me to see how I was doing the first week. He never did. So, I felt rejected twice. The last 3 months with him did a lot to ruin my self-esteem, but fed into my childhood abuse. It took a long time to get over that experience, and I'm glad I'm done with it.

My second therapist was worse from the beginning. Everything was my fault. After I quit, he called me, restarted the argument that had caused me to quit, I was panicking and had a hard time breathing. He finally stopped and said I was always welcome to come back. WTF??

My third was a bitch. She would heal my C-PTSD in 6 weeks. We didn't get that far. Her style didn't work well with my injuries.

My 4th lasted 6 months and while she was kind, she assumed a lot. She left for a new job.

Same with my 5th. She was great, teaching me to rely on myself, but she also found another job and left.

I am starting with my 6th, who is in the same group as the last 2. They have the PhD, who I'm going to see, then therapists who come and go. I don't know why I wasn't put with him in the first place. I pray it goes well and he doesn't leave.

 

[Skywatcher]

My first therapist had 15 years of experience with PTSD, and was what I needed at the time I think. I was very suicidal, and can't remember how many times I was in the hospital for SI or attempts. He forged a huge attachment since I don't attach very well. Then he found a new job after reassuring me he wasn't going anywhere for 3 years. I had had a dream where he was moving south, and he went on and on how he wasn't moving. He knew then he was taking a job which was south of his job at the time. Then told me I was better and had no more trauma to work on. What?? I had only gotten through some of the horrible traumas up to age 6.

I quit (again) and he sent me a note saying goodbye. I thought about it and went back, but for the 3 months he knew he was leaving, he started treating me like he didn't want me to be there anymore. When he told me he was leaving, It all made sense. He apologized for his behavior and I pretended I was ok with it. I also pretended to be happy for him and on his way he went, assuring me he would email me to see how I was doing the first week. He never did. So, I felt rejected twice. The last 3 months with him did a lot to ruin my self-esteem, but fed into my childhood abuse. It took a long time to get over that experience, and I'm glad I'm done with it.

My second therapist was worse from the beginning. Everything was my fault. After I quit, he called me, restarted the argument that had caused me to quit, I was panicking and had a hard time breathing. He finally stopped and said I was always welcome to come back. WTF??

My third was a bitch. She would heal my C-PTSD in 6 weeks. We didn't get that far. Her style didn't work well with my injuries.

My 4th lasted 6 months and while she was kind, she assumed a lot. She left for a new job.

Same with my 5th. She was great, teaching me to rely on myself, but she also found another job and left.

I am starting with my 6th, who is in the same group as the last 2. They have the PhD, who I'm going to see, then therapists who come and go. I don't know why I wasn't put with him in the first place. I pray it goes well and he doesn't leave.

It is really hard dealing with the early childhood abandonment stuff in therapy. The therapists may even think they have no intentions of leaving, but no one can really promise that. I feel like they should work on some sort of wording that would make sense, at least to the adult part of us. I was told by my therapist that my daughter should go with a particular therapist because the student ones are more likely to be short term. Then, after 6 weeks, my daughter’s therapist announced she was leaving for a different job. Even though my daughter said it didn’t bother her, grades dropped and other behavioral things started occurring at that time. Therapists really need to figure this stuff out and present it correctly. I feel a little bit assured that my T gave me the name of another local therapist that she thinks would be good for me if she dies. I really wouldn’t want to see anyone else in the “center” if mine were to leave.

 

[DharmaGirl]

It is really hard dealing with the early childhood abandonment stuff in therapy

Yes, especially when he keeps saying he's not going anywhere.

 

[Fahrenheit451]

My first attempt at therapy really didn’t go very well at all. I didn’t have much of a connection with her and as a result I didn’t go into any depth as to what was really bothering me. I figured if I just sort of hit the highlights everything would work out. After 6 months I lied and said I was ok and quit seeing her. But the nightmares and flashbacks got way worse so my best friend and my wife convinced me to seek more help. My doctor recommended a psychologist at the place I’m currently at and what a difference it’s made.
My first visit I was sitting in the waiting room and Lisa came right up to me and gently spoke my name and introduced herself. I guess I figured someone would yell my name and I’d go and sit in a little room like you do at the doctors office. So right from the start I felt at ease. A few sessions later after much back and forth between us she laid out her plan on what she thought would be the best approach to deal with my PTSD. I was pretty sceptical about EMDR at first, but It’s amazing how much progress can be made when you have a professional guiding you and asking the right questions at the right times.
Long story short, I still see her but not as frequently as I did at the start. And I’m consider extremely lucky to have found someone that was able to help me as much as she has. And without being dramatic I can honestly say she probably saved my life.
Thank you Lisa

 

[RVA21]

I had one who tried to push me to report one of my abusers to police. It would have put me at risk and I refused. She kept coming to another session and changing her mind on what she said the previous sessions. I couldn't understand if she was bad or good or what, she really confused me. She is still haunting me to this day. I should probably report her. The others were great.

 

[Several_Days]

@Sideways what a great perspective. You’ve done a lot of work and it shows.

 

[RunningInTheRain]

Most of mine really didn't do anything. However they were talk therapists who weren't trauma informed. So I wrote it off as the "wrong type".

My current one, however is awful. She did absolutely nothing except encourage pseudoscience and had absolutely no useful solutions. And she is a "trauma informed" one. I wasted half a year of my life with worsting symptoms and consequences for having said symptoms.

It's honestly made me loss question what's the use of therapy? I've had more informative and help watching youtube videos then actually going to therapy.

 

[Changing4Best]

I have lost count as to how many therapists I have had over the years. Sometimes one has dropped me, only for me to find that the next one I get is far superior. I am happy with my current one. I guess that is what matters most. We are doing CBT, and that seems to be what I need at the moment. My last one did do Trauma Therapy on me, but when we got to a good point, she left the practice and so that is how I found my current one (who was recommended by my psych nurse and company).

 

[reallydown]

Some people who've been on this site for a while may know my struggles with finding the right kind of help. My initial experiences were not at all encouraging and I found myself giving up on therapy altogether. When I was at my worse, I was still at school and I saw a rotating door of therapists, each one worse than the last...until, I was assigned a good one. Unfortunately, I wasn't with her long and they chucked me back to one of the wackos. Finally, I started seeing one off campus and she was pretty good; understanding and letting me go at my own pace. I could only open up to her through email, and even then, I skipped a lot. Still, she was the most helpful...until she decided to do her PhD and left.

So after that, it was a long time before I even made any attempts to see anyone again. Enter, a couple of more no-gos, a work counselor who wouldn't be able to help me long term etc. Finally, I talked to my GP (I had avoided telling her before and had seen another doctor for this stuff) and she referred me to a shrink and I've been seeing him for about a year now. I am on meds again (I tried it before and they messed with me so I swore I'd never go on meds again...Heh). Some sessions, he is totally helpful and I feel he is great and then we have another session and he is jumping to weird conclusions that are so off that I wonder how he became a shrink in the first place (granted, some of that is my fault because I haven't quite opened up to him fully yet). So here we are.

 

[jenkins]

IMO, therapists generally don't work well unless I tell them what I need, or talk about my fears so they can reassure me. I'm not sure any of my therapists ever reassured me, is that against the rules? This was back in the 1980s and 1990s.

Instead one offered me a different way to look at things in a more realistic light, since one of my issues is overgeneralization in a negative way. This might be called hypervigilance maybe. Sorry I'm new to the PTSD stuff.

I had one who tried to push me to report one of my abusers to police. It would have put me at risk and I refused. She kept coming to another session and changing her mind on what she said the previous sessions. I couldn't understand if she was bad or good or what, she really confused me. She is still haunting me to this day. I should probably report her.

IMO, there are some therapists that really really want to help people, they have the education, but not the talent. Education is not the same as talent. So they don't work out real well. And the therapists might have their own problems too.