Tough session today. I was initially going to skip therapy this week as I was put down to work mon-thurs, as I'm off fri, sat, sun and next mon but I took it off as a sick day and asked Charlotte for a session. You know when you just feel exhausted in all ways, physically, mentally, emotionally and even financially
I just needed today off. I booked with her with the thinking I'd speak on a few things but I think I was just so overwhelmed that I cried most of the session
She has asked that I be braver with her and let her in but even after 2.5 years, some things just seem to hard....maybe I need to stop thinking about getting all the details out to her about everything because I'm not sure I can (it's not her asking for details, it's what I wanted to do) She spoke about my need for music during session as a distraction, like it might not be a good thing. She mentioned switching to video sessions again but I'm not sure how I feel about it. Not sure if face to face would be harder ,(not as hard as with a stranger but still hard) I honestly trust her with all that I want to talk about....it's just the things that come after, all the thoughts in my head and the not so nice things I say to myself, maybe that's what is stopping me to. I say it all the time but I wish there was a way to make this easier