I think I am going to have to make sure I have my Lorazapam on hand the next time I have to be in any vehicle driven by others.
My brother jolted us around in his truck and it was so triggering I ended up having a flashback so intense I was taken to hospital.
Like I pleaded with my brother to just take it easy. What I went through and my experience was just dismissed. Their experience was that it was nothing.
The other day I went to a musical my niece worked in. Her dad was driving all of us there. After I was picked up my sisters husband pulls an immediate U-Turn on a multi lane road. And then he makes a sudden left turn.
And again I was triggered.
And again my experience was downplayed. My sister who witnessed my first episode explained that while they all were fine, it was too much for me.
I guess it's not just being in a truck but being in any vehicle where I don't have control and get jolted around during rough turns.
My body couldn't stop shaking.
Yet again I am inundated with intrusive memories and flashbacks taking me back to my accident.
I am trying to cope with the fact that they just don't understand the extent of the trauma I went through.
I have a legal Advocate who is appealing my workers decision to not accept any claim for PTSD. She didn't even send me for an assessment and yet denied the claim. I have a provisional diagnosis of moderate to severe PTSD resulting from my claim accident. So hopefully the Review Board will rule in my favour and have me sent for a Diagnostic Assessment for PTSD.
And somehow through all my trauma I have to move forward with my Vocational Rehabilitation and start studies. I have to upgrade my Math skills. It's complicated but at least I am enjoying it. Like I am actually enjoying the math. I slept through all my math classes in high school because of the trauma I was enduring and so I didn't go far in my math skills. And now it seems like this younger generation started learning math significantly younger. I am looking at Grade 8 Math and thinking this Grade 8 Math was what was being taught in 10th Grade when I was in high school.
It's just there's a lot on my plate emotionally and mentally and also trying to cope with my family who just don't understand. This PTSD stuff is really making life with my family extremely difficult and I am getting really emotional.
And I think my stepsister who basically rejected me years ago because of lies her mother spread about me and my other siblings has yet again distanced herself from me. An older sister of mine has died. We didn't put her or her mother in our sister's obituary. Maybe she's upset about that. My sister who died was diagnosed Schizophrenic. Our stepmom always called her crazy and she made it impossible for me to be part of my younger sisters life when she was growing up and then my stepmom turned my mother's family against me because of her lies. So why should she be put in my sisters obituary? And I thought maybe my stepsister was coming around but maybe not. We invited her to our sister's celebration of life and she declined. So it's not like we didn't reach out but she hasn't been part of our life for 20+ years. I'm not sure why her distancing herself from me is hurting so much.
My brother jolted us around in his truck and it was so triggering I ended up having a flashback so intense I was taken to hospital.
Like I pleaded with my brother to just take it easy. What I went through and my experience was just dismissed. Their experience was that it was nothing.
The other day I went to a musical my niece worked in. Her dad was driving all of us there. After I was picked up my sisters husband pulls an immediate U-Turn on a multi lane road. And then he makes a sudden left turn.
And again I was triggered.
And again my experience was downplayed. My sister who witnessed my first episode explained that while they all were fine, it was too much for me.
I guess it's not just being in a truck but being in any vehicle where I don't have control and get jolted around during rough turns.
My body couldn't stop shaking.
Yet again I am inundated with intrusive memories and flashbacks taking me back to my accident.
I am trying to cope with the fact that they just don't understand the extent of the trauma I went through.
I have a legal Advocate who is appealing my workers decision to not accept any claim for PTSD. She didn't even send me for an assessment and yet denied the claim. I have a provisional diagnosis of moderate to severe PTSD resulting from my claim accident. So hopefully the Review Board will rule in my favour and have me sent for a Diagnostic Assessment for PTSD.
And somehow through all my trauma I have to move forward with my Vocational Rehabilitation and start studies. I have to upgrade my Math skills. It's complicated but at least I am enjoying it. Like I am actually enjoying the math. I slept through all my math classes in high school because of the trauma I was enduring and so I didn't go far in my math skills. And now it seems like this younger generation started learning math significantly younger. I am looking at Grade 8 Math and thinking this Grade 8 Math was what was being taught in 10th Grade when I was in high school.
It's just there's a lot on my plate emotionally and mentally and also trying to cope with my family who just don't understand. This PTSD stuff is really making life with my family extremely difficult and I am getting really emotional.
And I think my stepsister who basically rejected me years ago because of lies her mother spread about me and my other siblings has yet again distanced herself from me. An older sister of mine has died. We didn't put her or her mother in our sister's obituary. Maybe she's upset about that. My sister who died was diagnosed Schizophrenic. Our stepmom always called her crazy and she made it impossible for me to be part of my younger sisters life when she was growing up and then my stepmom turned my mother's family against me because of her lies. So why should she be put in my sisters obituary? And I thought maybe my stepsister was coming around but maybe not. We invited her to our sister's celebration of life and she declined. So it's not like we didn't reach out but she hasn't been part of our life for 20+ years. I'm not sure why her distancing herself from me is hurting so much.
