Things Getting Measurably Better = Anxiety Spike?

[Kefira]

So, I'm looking for anybody who has advice on how to manage anxiety spikes due to improvement.

In my case, I have several things that are happening (job and friendship wise as well as with the ongoing service dog journey) that will make things better for me. But even good change is still change and it sort of has me terrified. It also opens up all the what-ifs: but what if I have a solid group of friends and I STILL feel alone, what if I make this strides in standing for my job, but then I blow it anyway and end up unemployed. All of that.

Being given some real tools for success seems to just be doubling my fear of failure. I wouldn't change anything I'm doing. Almost all of the changes happening lately are positive. There just have been a lot of them and it's really causing me to be on edge.

 

[MrsBeasley86]

Any kinds of change, good or bad, can cause anxiety. Some people can roll with it with no problems. And then there's is who suffer with anxiety (ugh) who get overwhelmed. I know that I do this too. I turn something positive into a huge ordeal. I get worked up and boom...anxiety!
The best advice I can give you is what my therapist has told me. You have to change your thinking. Easier said than done! But ive been practicing and I've noticed improvement. I had to do this earlier. For the past week, ive been struggling with my anxiety. Its been high. So I've stayed at home. Today, my mother in law invited us out for lunch. I wanted to go but I started with the what ifs. So I changed it around. What if I get there and panic? That's fine because you know how to pull through. You've panicked before. It goes away. What if I freak out?? Well what are the chances of that? Just breathe and stay calm. And I went and had a great time!!

 

[falling_wave]

I just want to say that you are not alone in this. I'm kind of in this stage myself eight now.

Recently I've started having all sorts of hopes and dreams for the rest of my adult life and they feel attainable. I remember one time when my T told me she wants one thing for me and that is for me to feel peace. For some reason every time the anxiety peaks I think of that and I am able to relax myself. Another thing that helps me is to plan my dreams. I look up pictures online, look ads for the home I want, read about where I want to live, etc. It helps me envision myself moving forward instead of back. Also remind yourself that you got yourself to this point which obviously means you have the skills to keep moving forward. Sure life brings ups and down but what you have built to get to this point is something that cannot be taken away. Good luck!

 

[Kefira]

You have to change your thinking.

I've been trying to learn this skill. It's so hard, isn't it? But it's been helping a lot with small things. Which honestly is part of the reason for the larger improvements- I've been able to be more social, I've been taking chances and putting myself out there and asking for help.

And then I get to big changes and it just seems like the skills I'm learning don't carry over. Maybe some of it, too, is just needing to wait and see. Some of this is so new I can't use a lot of the things I do otherwise. Like, going to the grocery store- "you've never actually had anything bad happen to you in a grocery store beyond not being able to find something easily". That just doesn't work when I'm headed into foreign territory to me.

 

[Kefira]

Also remind yourself that you got yourself to this point which obviously means you have the skills to keep moving forward.

This. This is basically all I can do. It's just really hard without the proof, since many of these experiences are completely new to me.

 

[sun seeker]

Could it be because things getting better means your world getting bigger? If you've isolated or kept your environment as un-triggery as possible, perhaps the changes you are making, however positive, are breaking your safe bubble? Just guessing. Some parts of you might not yet trust the changes and need reassurance.

 

[Kefira]

@sun seeker That makes so much sense. I hadn't thought of it quite like that, at least not on a bigger picture level. That probably is a lot of it, and knowing that might help me be a little more compassionate with myself. I've been meeting with people almost every day for lunch or coffee for the past week, for example. That's so not normal for me. and that's a lot of places and a lot of social interaction, even though it feels really good to do. So of course it's overwhelming.

Funny how sometimes we can't see it when we're in it sometimes, huh?

 

[ms spock]

Oh I TOTALLY relate!

I am thinking that even if I made 100% wrong decisions in the next ten years - well that would be better than the last ten years where I didn't make that many decisions, just did what I thought people wanted me to - so even a 100% failure rate would be an improvement in actual decision making. It is unlikely I will make 100% failure rate but having come to terms that I will make some mistakes I am going forward. (It is excruciating at times! My best!)