Things said during dissociation

[Catty64]

Hello Everyone, I had a breakdown 3 years ago where from CSA where I dissociated on and off for 3 years. After much therapy the dissociation has stopped but I said some really damaging things to my husband during this time and our relationship is struggling. I’m looking for a couples therapist. In the meantime has anyone done/said dreadful things when speaking from emotional or traumatised younger parts?
Many thanks
Catty

 

[somerandomguy]

Yes.

 

[Sideways]

In the meantime has anyone done/said dreadful things when speaking from emotional or traumatised younger parts?

Yes. Sincere apologies tend to go a long way with the people that matter, but ultimately, forgiveness is out of our hands.

It’s been motivation to really invest in recovery for me.

 

[Catty64]

Many thanks for your responses, it’s such a tough journey! X

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes, I agree with I'm sorry I hurt you. And this is what I'm going to do to prevent it in the future (a plan). And x, y or z was not true and came from a place of my own hurt and pain. And it was wrong and my heart hurts to hurt yours. And then let the other person speak. And know that forgiveness is never guaranteed, but if given is a gift. And if given especially but even if not if you are sincere about owning your part do the best you can to also forgive yourself. Especially if you didn't intend it. You are only human, we only have the tools w have at the time, and we all do things that we need forgiveness for. It can help motivate too to know the gravity of what has to be faced and addressed to facilitate change. Even if it just starts by recognizing when you have to remove yourself before you lash out with something you don't mean. It definitely sounds like you didn't want to hurt your husband. I think counselling and also giving it some time. It can take a while for trust to be rebuilt sometimes, and new actions to show it's different.

Welcome to you. Please be kind and gentle to yourself. I can say for myself and I'm sure many others also that I don't harbor resentment if someone says and means they are sorry. If you care about them and know they are struggling you just want the other person to be able to become healthy and happy. And in this case, being your husband, to be a team and get back to being together with the person you love and chose your future with. To cherish each other and have hope again.

Welcome to you. @Catty64

 

[Friday]

In the meantime has anyone done/said dreadful things when speaking from emotional or traumatised younger parts?

Nope!

But I’ve said/done dreadful things when I’m mixing up my past & present.