Thinking Of Asking To Shake Ts Hand

[Panda Bear]

Totally random thought, but in nearly 4yrs, I've not once come in contact with my T. Not even when we first met, as I am generally afraid of touch.

We've had may conversations about touch, some have ended in me freaking out at just the idea of anyone touching me. I'm afraid he will harm me too (like everyone else). At one point he suggested that he'd like me to be okay with touch, because he would like to hug me on our last session.

Anyways, I was thinking about asking him if I could shake his hand at the end of a session. Is that stupid? Seems okay, like a step that I could tolerate.

Do you shake your Ts hand?

 

[Chosen]

My T shook my hand on the first session...then there was a sad miscommunication about hugs wherein I thought he would, and he wouldn't until the last session.
Anyway, since I couldn't get hugs, I would stop at the door with him if it'd been a particularly rough emotional session and ask for a handshake...he never said no, and I only asked maybe 5-8 times over the course of our time together. We ended in May :(
I always felt safest with my T. If you trust him, then it might be a good idea to just say that you want to work on your fear of trust and would you be able to shake hands sometime? or even that time if you feel comfortable.

 

[Eagle3]

Go ahead, he'll see that as a huge step forward! Great progress! My T is making me ask for a hug after every session now, because I have problems with that IRL. So far, I've only been able to do it once, but doing that made me able to ask another person (who I'm seriously crushing on) for a birthday hug and I got it! So yes, practice in session with T, that's what they're there for. Good luck, and good progress!

 

[Panda Bear]

@Eagle3. I'm nearly certain he will shake my hand. Like your T, he is strongly working on me asking for the things that I want and trying to get me to take some control in a safe environment. He has never said he CANT touch me, or that he doesn't touch clients. He doesn't spout a 'no touch' policy ether. He has only assured me that he won't touch me unless asked.

Funny how one small thing, like a hand shake can make you feel so stupid and weird. People do it all the time!

 

[caramelmix]

I say go for it, me and my t have a understanding now with touch, she wont touch me hand shake hug etc unless I ask, As she is a touchy type, I know she offers hugs out if she feels a session might have been hard for the client and early on she did this to me once and I freaked. it caused me a 4 day melt down. I hope to be in your shoes in future and at the stage where I will be asking for a hand shake or maybe even a hug.

I know I would be feeling stupid and weird too about asking for one. I think the asking would be harder than the actual hand shake in some ways.