This is my broken reccord impression

[abbynormal1929]

I don't really have anyone else to talk to, at least not for the next week or so. Things are out of control with my wife, not that this is the first time. She obviously doesn't trust anyone. She acted like I endanged our child because I let the doctor give him more than one vaccination at a time. Her first child has autism, and she's kind of an anti-vaxxer. She admitted in front of our couples therapist that she had gone through one of my journals where I was venting about her. The fact that she invaded my privacy doesn't matter, and I have to explain every little thing I wrote 6 months ago that was never supposed to be read. She's treating me like everything I say is a lie. A couple times a few weeks ago she even said that I was being mentally abusive towards her. Every moment just seems so hostile, even if we're not saying anything. On top of that I seem to be thinking of everything I do in terms of how she will react to it. When she's angry about something, and ranting, I'm too anxious to say much of anything. No matter who, or what she's mad at, it always comes around to being mad at me, and saying I'm doing something to hurt her. I've vented about her on this site a lot, and am feeling like a broken reccord. I just don't know where else to express these kinds of things some days.

I know I have to leave her. I just picture being apart from my son for even 10 days. He's so young, and I start to get anxious that he will forget me in that time, or that i'll just be so sad not seeing him every day, or that I'll be making him sad, even if it is a temporary situation.

Any way feel free to comment, but feel no obligation.

 

[somerandomguy]

He's so young, and I start to get anxious that he will forget me in that time, or that i'll just be so sad not seeing him every day, or that I'll be making him sad, even if it is a temporary situation.

Can you do it FOR your son?

You're in no shape to help your son, or even be much of a dad, until you're out of your situation. Imagine him growing up and seeing you with your wife. What will he think relationships are supposed to be like?

When things go wrong on airplanes, you have to attach your OWN oxygen mask first, then look after others.

I'm thinking about you, and I wish there was some way I could get you out of your situation. There ARE people who can help you. If you can somehow talk to your therapist alone and communicate to her what's actually going on, SHE can help you. You just have to take that first step.

 

[abbynormal1929]

Can you do it FOR your son?

You're in no shape to help your son, or even be much of a dad, until you're out of your situation. Imagine him growing up and seeing you with your wife. What will he think relationships are supposed to be like?

When things go wrong on airplanes, you have to attach your OWN oxygen mask first, then look after others.

I'm thinking about you, and I wish there was some way I could get you out of your situation. There ARE people who can help you. If you can somehow talk to your therapist alone and communicate to her what's actually going on, SHE can help you. You just have to take that first step.

I was hoping the fact that she went through my journals would be a red flag to the mariage counselor. There's a domestic violence place not far from me that can help me get paperwork started when I leave for divorce and custody arrangement and what not. My individual counselor knows everything, and she's leaving the practice, but I won't have to wait for a new one. And yes I can try to do it for my son. It feels like I don't know myself anymore. Like all these aspects of my personality I always liked are locked away somewhere. It's also like when she's talking in or out of the session, I always come away feeling like a bad guy, even if I know I didnt do anything wrong. I hope soon, I'll get some courage.

 

[EveHarrington]

She acted like I endanged our child because I let the doctor give him more than one vaccination at a time.

No, you’re saving his life by getting him vaccinated. There is zero proof that vaccinations, or getting multiple vaccinations at one time can cause autism.

There is research (ie multiple studies) suggesting that nutritional deficiencies in the mother may lead to autism. In light of this, one can surmise that it’s easier for mothers with autistic kids blame (external) vaccinations as opposed to facing the idea that if they had eaten better, their kid might not have autism.

Please don’t bow down to her on this one. Vaccinations save lives.

She admitted in front of our couples therapist that she had gone through one of my journals where I was venting about her. The fact that she invaded my privacy doesn't matter, and I have to explain every little thing I wrote 6 months ago that was never supposed to be read.

This therapist is WAY out of line.

You deserve privacy. You deserve to have areas of your life that are just for you.

You don’t have to defend your writing in a private journal. It’s yours and yours alone.

I mean shit, why don’t you tear her apart for the things she actually says to your face? (I’m sure there’s plenty.)

Ok, sorry....what I mean to say is that we all say things out of frustration and anger that we may mean in the moment, but it’s not true overall. (Same can be said about things we write in a private journal.) After the last fight with my boyfriend I had to ask him about certain things that he said and it turns out that he just said them out of anger. I accepted what he said and moved on.

Having every little thought held against you is no way to live.

This woman is using the professional system to abuse you even more.

Please get out, for the sake of your son.

 

[abbynormal1929]

To clarify, the therapist did acknowledge that I have a right to privacy. Most of the defending I speak of was at home. I thought maybe the therapist was placating her a bit to build a raport. But yeah I'm working on the getting out.

 

[somerandomguy]

This woman is using the professional system to abuse you even more.

Agree. This is why couples in abusive relationships aren't supposed to have couples therapy. She's going to use the therapist for her own ends, against you. It happens all the time.

Time to leave.