Thoughts - Is it normal to even read up on suicide? To feel relief from scratching yourself?

[An invisible one]

Is it normal to even read up on suicide . Like how many pills it takes . The last time it happened was almost 3 yrs ago .. I'm no longer on any therapy or counselling services also. Think deep down I know what triggered but there wasn't any specific event , more like an accumulated thing inside of me

But it felt different from then when I was really in a dark place. This time it sprang out of nowhere. I also kind of started scratching myself. I feel relief with the feeling of the scratches on my hand . Does it sound weird ?

Heck .. maybe I'm attention seeking . Don't know what's wrong with my brain

 

[arfie]

Is it normal to even read up on suicide . Like how many pills it takes .

it is normal for me. i'm a curious person and i don't limit my curiosity much. satisfying my curiosity is even more tempting since the advent of the internet. with morbid subjects, such as suicide, denying my curiosity only seems to intensify it. yup, you guessed it. authority issues, even when the authority telling me i can't is me. allowing myself to satisfy the curiosity seems to purge it from my system with far greater efficiency than telling myself, "no."

 

[Bamma]

Is it normal to even read up on suicide . Like how many pills it takes . The last time it happened was almost 3 yrs ago .. I'm no longer on any therapy or counselling services also. Think deep down I know what triggered but there wasn't any specific event , more like an accumulated thing inside of me

But it felt different from then when I was really in a dark place. This time it sprang out of nowhere. I also kind of started scratching myself. I feel relief with the feeling of the scratches on my hand . Does it sound weird ?

Heck .. maybe I'm attention seeking . Don't know what's wrong with my

For some people, I think that just the idea of a way out can provide comfort, but it's also a risk factor. It's especially concerning if someone has formulated a plan, and has the means to act on it. It's important to get rid of the means in case you have an impulse.

Self-harm (scratching) could be a way of feeling physical pain to distract from emotional pain, maybe? Also might be a form of grounding if you've dissociated? Or maybe not.

 

[Sues]

I do it. When I was prescribed the sleeping meds, I looked up what would happen if I took a bunch of them. I wasn't wanting to kill myself. A lot of the time I wish I wasn't here. I want it all to go away, the pain, anxiety, depression, and trauma.

I also self harm in a couple of ways, one of which is scratching.