Shaman session #3.
Yesterday was stressful. Annie doesn't feel well, she has a bladder infection with crystals. They're sharp and irritate the lining of the bladder. I put her on a new food-all organic, no GMO, grain free and pH neutral. Plus a supplement of cranberry, grape root, echinesa and vitamin C.
I went to get my new phone and switching from Verizon (sucks) to Sprint in hopes of being able to run clients credit cards through my Square without having to hang my arm out the window to get internet service. I forgot to take my passwords with me for Apple and the rep got it as far as he could without it.long story short he sent me home to transfer my contacts and Apps from my old phone using my iTunes cloud. Somehow I f*cked it up and the phone froze. I was so upset because I depend on my phone to run my business. I couldn't sleep all night. Plus I discovered that I have overused my Xanax and have to take half my dose to get me to my next refill. I also noticed that I cut a perfect circle inside a box on my arm. Clearly I have been dissociative.
I hoped that after work this morning, that I could go to Sorint between my therapist and a denture place. Yes I am letting go of the eight broken, ugly teeth from years of clenching and grinding my teeth and having an upper denture made. I am worried that 1) I will have an allergic reaction to the resins that are used in the making of the denture and 2) I will gag so much I will have a panic attack. Even the thought of having impressions done unnerves me. My teeth are coming out May 20.
Sprint fixed my phone in five minutes. I love Tim the Sprint geek! The denturist is a warm and confident woman who has experience helping people with PTSD get through learning how to chew again. I got very good vibes from her. So everything turned out OK in the end. I must've chewed down six tums before that appointment.
Now is Shaman time. First she did some reiki because the card she picked out of the deck today was Dreamcatcher. The Dreamcatcher collects your dreams through the solar plexus chakra. I am to write down my dreams. I will try to do that. So some reiki. My aura gets wider by the day. Then Shaman work.
We went again to lower world. Neither of us saw each other and I didn't see what she did. The two girls are both with the Indigenous folk and playing happily. Shaman became aware of another child nearby but her spirit guides told her not today. So don't know who that one is. Then she just held my head and started talking under her breath, sometimes reporting something she finds. She said I have a bullseye on my back and did I want to know who put it there. I said hell, yes. My mother. Not surprising at all. Wolf saw my mother coming towards me and he turned her away. Shaman removed the target and burned it. She said the blueprint of my aura revealed a heart that is broken in half. She did some mum I jumbo to fix that.
When I drove on the highway today a beautiful barn owl swooped right in front of my car, and then she was gone. Shaman said the owl is part of my totem and she gave me her book that describes the significance of all the animals. I'll read up on owl later.
She gave me a gift. It is a Dreamcatcher made at a tribe in Canada and it was blessed by the tribes Shaman. I left feeling calm while also feeling pissed off at mommy Dearest. I think I'll sleep well tonight. I need to journey more. Especially when I am stressed out and dissociate and do bad things to myself.
My soul is still being stitched back together. Knowing that my parts are safe and happy got me to thinking about the integration process. I think I will be patient and find all my fractured selfs. Then in a ceremony in Lower world, I will allow my soul back into my body. And with that act, I will be integrated.
Session ends.
