Time For Plan B

[Scarface]

Scarface I think it's really sad that you are in a part of the world where friends family and strangers are so shallow that you feel you can't face them. I think it's a great idea to move away. But not to kill yourself. You should count yourself lucky. Yes, lucky. At least you can chew and swallow food. I'd switch place with you in an instant to be able to do that.

You should know better than to tell someone who is suffering from mental anguish/PTSD that they should consider themselves lucky. That it could always be worse. Well guess what? It could always be better.

I don't know what your story is, but trust me, if you had any clue what kind of pain and suffering I am going through right now you'd think twice about saying that you'd trade places with me.

 

[Scarface]

See the below post that I quoted from another forum by a woman who did a laser treatment on her face to minimize wrinkles. Her skin got blisters/scars a few years after the treatment.

"I cry everyday and every time I look in the mirror...My son is hurt when I hide in the car to watch his soccer games. My mother is sad when she watches me isolate myself from the things and people I love because I have sores and scars covering my face now...Knowing It hurts them is the worst feeling I've ever experienced.

Today is my birthday..The second one I will spend sad and crying with sores and scars on my face, I feel like a caged animal, my phone is turned off and I wonder if I will ever look normal again…Enjoy a birthday dinner, Cheer on the field at my sons soccer game, Go to lunch with my Mom, Attend parties, Go on vacations, Visit my neighbors or Go out with my friends and family etc..."

She goes on about how she suffered from so much emotional turmoil, that she is wished to die every day. She stopped living a life for two years and wouldn't leave her house or let anyone see her including her mother. Well, she did end up passing away at the ripe old age of 39. She died of a brain aneurysm.

This summarizes how I feel about my face/life pretty well. Still wanna trade places with me?

 

[Stickler]

Link Removed

Note that the latex piece so created could be glued in every day for a while with the spirit gum, saving you time.

Again, add the above with lots of concealer and foundation, crispy-jelled and sideswept bangs to break up the scar outline further.

...I sympathize that your face is disfigured. You have had something that you thought integral to yourself taken away: your good looks.

But you're wallowing in self-pity. WALLOWING.

You can choose to keep doing that, we all can.
I did for a while.
It gets you a life that sucks.

I got sold for sex when I was six and seven.
That and $2.50 will get me a goddamn cup of coffee at a f*cking Starbucks'.
Feeling sorry for myself gets me nowhere good.
It gets you nowhere good.

You can make your own hell out of self pity if that's what you want, and nobody on here can stop you.

Your choice...and YOU are making it.

Not the selfie-obsessed generation, YOU.

 

[joeylittle]

You asked if there was something you were missing about scars. @Stickler gave you a good link, above, for how to make a latex appliance. Dermaflage, which I'm thinking you did not get a good consult on, is very effective when applied properly and blended with corrective makeup.

None of these things will actually erase your scar. They will cover it, and cover it well. So perhaps research and do a consultation with a paramedical makeup artist, or paramedical tattooist.

camouflage makeup scars

I have many scars, and have experience in trying to conceal them.

It can be done successfully. But, you have to be willing to try. And you have to understand that no matter how well-covered it is, you will always know it's there.

That's what therapy is for.

 

[Fadeaway]

I don't know what your story is, but trust me, if you had any clue what kind of pain and suffering I am going through right now you'd think twice about saying that you'd trade places with me.

Glad to hear suicide is no longer plan B, but what the hell? Did you really just say that on a forum full of people who know and understand what true emotional suffering is all about? Not only that but to someone who doesn't have the ability to chew and swallow on their own? No offence, but I would rather have a 4 inch wide, 4-inch deep crater on my forehead than not be able to chew or swallow on my own. Hell, I would totally rock a scar like that.

Look, I am not trying to discount your suffering, no one here has as far as I can see. You are in emotional pain and that is obvious. But so is everyone else here. You are insulting people who have survived truly horrific things and do get the depth of emotional suffering Fixing your visible scar is not going to fix the internal scars. I can only hope you put in half as much work on fixing the internal scars as you are the external.

 

[Friday]

Terminally Unique

 

[The Albatross]

Hmmm. Familiar intimately with "terminally unique" and it is commonly applied to AA's to not criticize but to put the ego in check for the HOW (honesty, openness and willingness)... this is a middle ground to me: "Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever." ~ Lance Armstrong

Added in edit: I am the one that determines what will take it's place. (late on the uptake but hey)

 

[Sideways]

I've been following this thread and it's been really eating at me that even though it's in the Depression forum, the depression element doesn't seem to be acknowledged, let alone targetted for some healing. IMHO, covering the scar is just one of many steps that may be part of the healing process and just 'feeling better'.

For the most part, I tend to think that comparisons are really unhelpful. Suffering is suffering - how can any of us possibly compare our suffering to others?

That said, your story reminds me of a good friend who has a deep indent in her forehead from her hairline to her brow. The suffering it causes her is palpable.

But I would add 2 observations (and that's all they are, just observations): first, the bulk of her suffering comes from her trauma and the scar serves more as a visible reminder of that; second, I know her well enough to be able to confidently say that her self-consciousness is not a realistic measure of how she is actually perceived. Does it get stares? Sure. But once people get to know her, does it impact their judgement of her at all? Not even remotely. I wish I could take it away from her, but scar or no scar, she is still beautiful in my mind.

 

[Scarface]

@Ragdoll Circus Thanks. It really is true, no one gets it until it's on their face. This is not about me being perfect. I just don't want my face to be so different. Scarring really does range from being almost invisible to very obvious and disfiguring. Mine is obvious and disfiguring. It is impossible to fix and it can't be covered with makeup. And I have it for long life. Plus facial disfigurement is so rare, so most people don't understand. It's a debilitating, shameful, and isolating way to suffer. I would have rather battled cancer (or some other serious illness) and won. At least then I would have had a chance at a normal life again

 

[Ronin]

I just don't want my face to be so different.

It always was different. Before the scars, too. We're all unique people. Even twins are different in something subtle.

 

[Ronin]

At least then I would have had a chance at a normal life again

You're still alive. How you define 'normal' is up to you. You can make your life better. That scar isn't what's holding you back, if you don't let it to.

 

[Suzetig]

What if the cancer had left you with terrible facial scarring?