DID Time Space Warp!

[Starfire]

Trying to help ones realize abuse was a time ago, & across the country. Not here & now..no action required. Used a map. Logical right? Now can point out States & their names & find them on the map. Progress! Thinks the abusers are everywhere. Was probably told that. It's the time warp hurdle we can't get over. Still sees themselves as small & helpless. Some literally. T had them look at hands to see how much bigger they are then a child's. OK for some. But some actually *saw* children's hands. Looked in mirror & described their hair just as it was worn at that age as well as the color. Was able to verify that. After a recent relative's death, while cleaning out the house, found boxes of family pictures. Including class pictures during the time of the abuse. I can't disbelieve them now. But please someone tell me I'm not living in an episode of Stranger Things or Twilight Zone! Beginning to wonder if it just may be better to assure them they are surrounded by protective, believing people & forget about bringing them to the present.

 

[Sideways]

Beginning to wonder if it just may be better to assure them they are surrounded by protective, believing people & forget about bringing them to the present.

This is part truth, yeah? They are now surrounded by believing, protective, safe people (most importantly, you).

But to me? Safe means honest. Littles have survived tougher than this. If they’re confused and have questions, my personal policy is always honesty.

I use different language and stuff to keep it age-appropriate, but I’m not gonna lie to my littles. They need to know they can trust me.

But there’s ways and means of being honest. Taking time to help them understand? Requires patience (from you), but not necessarily dishonesty.

If they’re not ready to understand just yet? That’s okay. Give them time. Let them go through the emotions that are appropriate to having to accept something big like this. Help them through that.

But changing the story midway? Letting them believe in an unreal existence where they can continue to take over? That doesn’t sound safe and honest to me, just easier.

One of my littles (the littlest) still hasn’t come round. It’s taking a crazy-making amount of patience. I’m still at just listening and reassuring at this point. But the others all got there in their own time, at their own pace. One in particular majorly freaked out on me several times and it was a bit hairy managing to keep myself safe through that, but they get there.

They’re pretty tough usually. Emotional & unpredictable, but super resilient.

 

[Ronin]

But please someone tell me I'm not living in an episode of Stranger Things or Twilight Zone!

You’re not.

You’re quite safe and well.

But hey. Some of us deal well in THOSE freaky villes. :) So in case you *are* somewhere there, got it. Save me from Sunday family reunions on a sunny afternoon though, kk? Even if it’s Cali, & I like Cali.

& I need What Sideways said sign, already. You survived it, countless times. So you got yourself, just well.

 

[Teamwork]

It is great that you have discovered the age because now you can talk that language, use resources to help create safety within. Create safe place inside, let them see what you are doing now, name the date time place. They don’t have to believe it is what it is, but reminders help, calendars help.you’ve discovered physical appearance didn’t do the trick so keep going. Say what you are doing on a regular basis, where you are, people in the now. Offer out time to color, draw you pictures and encourage good internal communication. In time they will get it, but it takes time and creativity. I believe we were creative in how our parts came to be and we can continue to be creative in how we bring them up to sate.