Time to get serious about my recovery!

[Lola Nocheprieta]

I know it's hard, and sometimes feels like the work we do will never, ever be enough to undo the damage from early childhood relationship/developmental trauma. I know that feeling deeply myself. I know I have come a very long way, but to find myself having to always go back to basics now is sometimes demoralizing. But I try to take it in when people who know and understand tell me they are proud of the hard work I am doing. I am proud of you, Ms Spock, and I'm proud of myself. Like you say, in many ways, ways that really matter, we are both improving out of sight!

Take gentle, special care of yourself.

 

[ms spock]

I have to refocus on this - it was anniversary time and it was trigger city time. Overall I have done really well. In myself I have lost my shit and I am not doing well at all.

 

[ms spock]

I know it's hard, and sometimes feels like the work we do will never, ever be enough to undo the damage from early childhood relationship/developmental trauma.

I do feel that. I really do feel that. I have worked so hard and there is so much more for me to do. I am really struggling on one level.

 

[ms spock]

Managed E and C yesterday - could have dipped out but decided to step up to the plate. It was really worth it.

Managed S and C last night. C is terribly racist - yet has an Asian wife - so not sure how that works. But managed it well, very well indeed.

Saw M and R today - she is going to be looking after her Downs Syndrome brother and she has so many health problems but she is battling onwards.

I did really well in all these situations.

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

I do feel that. I really do feel that. I have worked so hard and there is so much more for me to do. I...

*Puts the kettle on and passes Ms Spock a basket filled with self activating hugs.*

 

[ms spock]

I have made substantial gains in all areas targeted in my recovery. There were a few gains that I didn't think I would ever make but I got there.

 

[Lionheart]

Excellent work @Ms Spock !!!!

Please don't forget to reward yourself and to accept the praise that you are obviously so worthy of. You are awesome in your relentless pursuit of healing and you are an inspiration to many.

BTW, thank you for the dance and comforting words earlier today, you made me smile when my heart was hurting and that is a magical gift that you have.

Blessings of peace and love for you,
Lion

 

[ms spock]

I am kind of working on the next thing now @Lionheart777 as I really want to get well enough to work, so I really don't have time to rest on my laurels. But I am taking a bit of time out from a major stressor just so I can learn to be more grounded and present in my own body.

Thanks for your words of encouragement.

 

[ms spock]

I am really taking my recovery seriously. I have stepped up to the next level. Currently I am doing some volunteering in a school in my self created exposure therapy program. Improving in all arenas of my recovery foci.

 

[DharmaGirl]

That is wonderful! I am getting to the point of volunteering. I used to love it. I'm happy to see you here again!

 

[ms spock]

This is really paying back in spades! It is amazing what dedicated (in the manner I could do it, I have been very, very small, and very, very slow) manner, and my whole life is, once again, changing.

 

[ms spock]

I am really knocking it up to the next level. Not travelling the best at the moment, but determined to do more and do my healing and recovery activities to a higher level. I want to be a better person. I want to life my game. Time to level up and really go for it now.