Time To Say Goodbye??

[EveHarrington]

Stay!

I think you deserve healing just as much as anyone else.

We all have our own struggles. We are all at different points in healing.

I think it's good that you started this thread. Threads are good because they are a record of what everyone has said. If you feel like leaving again in the future you can revisit this thread and see you're very much cared about here. (I have an ongoing thread of my own and I'm glad I can revisit it as needed.)

 

[hodge]

BJ, I hope all the above posts have convinced you to stay. I can't really add to anything everyone else has said. I just really think you need this extra support now more than ever. And if you want to pm me, I'll be here -- not necessarily every day, but often enough. I want to be here for you as much as I can.

 

[Chimera]

Thank you so much everyone, I am just in a very dark place right now and can't seem to think straight...

Please stop trying to be anything other than what you are...go ahead and let yourself be. For goodness sakes it's the very least you deserve ♡

 

[sun seeker]

I can't help it and just feel the forum would be better off without my constant moaning and wingeing

Hm... seems to me I've heard this one somewhere before. Possibly about a hundred times on this forum?

I may just not be paying attention, but I for one haven't noticed you moaning at all. Sounds like you have a ton to deal with and can really use the support. Look at it this way: No one is here because they have to be. It's voluntary. So if people are responding to your posts, it's not because you are imposing yourself on them. It's because they want and are able to. If they don't for whatever reason, they won't respond. You can be pretty sure that you aren't a burden on anyone here.

I don't know what to do with myself, I hate myself, I am incredibly lonely, horribly needy and don't want to inflict me on everyone else as its not fair. I just want someone to hold me close, tell me they understand and want to be there for me but it's never going to happen.

Yup. This sounds familiar too.

It's not because there is anything wrong with you. What you are writing here, apart from the particulars of your present stressful situation, could be written by just about any survivor of childhood trauma at one point or another. (Sorry, I actually don't know your story so it's possible I am wrong about what your trauma involved, but from what you write here it seems clear to me.)

What I am seeing when I read your post is: You are hurting, you are lonely, you need support, and you feel you don't deserve it (because you were never taught that you deserved it).

But you do. We all do. And I hope you will give yourself the chance to receive it. Online is not the same as in person, but it's something, and it can help you through and take the edge off the despair.

Here are some hugs from me, if you accept them. :hug::hug::hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

:hug: 's @Blackjack .

 

[lostforgottensoul]

me realise that my story is so insignificant

No trauma is insignificant!

I am just terribly sad and depressed right now on top of the PTSD. I am struggling terribly with my shoulder injury and being so incapacitated by it. I am permanently worried and anxious about my dad who is in a care home. I cannot talk to my family, have had a lot of friends walk away from me since my diagnosis

Now this, to me, sounds like more reasons that you need the forum. See, you are here for you, for support for you to help you heal...and be there and support others along the way.

I go into chat people seem to disappear, probably because I am so miserable, sad, down and hard work.

A lot go into chat, say hey, and move into the forums. Im rarely in chat as it just moves way too fast for a dyslexic, however, when I am sometimes alert will pull me away for a bit, sometimes a long time, and normally I forget to say anything so it looks like I disapeared when I havent.

just feel the forum would be better off without my constant moaning and wingeing.

Look around, thats what we all do. Its called letting things off your chest and letting others support you and give you advise to help move you to that next level, then the next and so on.

Sometimes it helps to take a step away from the forum a bit; do something contructive (organize something, do a project that you always wanted to, take a walk in the park, pick up a hobby etc). Anthony has a thread somewhere that the forum can make symptoms worse and so breaks every so often from the forum is good and healthy and it might make you feel a bit better.

Either way, you are no more "whinny" then the rest of us which, from my view, makes you fit in quite nicely here! :hug:

 

[Blackjack]

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words and encouragement to stay. I guess because of my situation at home, I am just not used to having anyone that I can freely talk to and say how I feel without recrimination. I have always been made to feel as if it is totally wrong to say how I feel, to express my emotions or to have feelings so suddenly being able to and encouraged to is still new and strange.
I truly hope I can be as good a friend and as supportive to you all as you are to me. You are a wonderful bunch of people and it is a privilege and an honour to be here. Thank you so much xxx

 

[Stickler]

Glad you're staying. I like that you are here. :)

...We're all here to help each other and get helped.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Felt similar to you when I first joined, been here nearly a year and I'm glad I stayed :hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

So happy and relieved that you are going to be staying here. This place with these people have made such a profound difference in my own life. You deserve all of the good that you can get. Welcome back:):hug:

 

[Changing4Best]

I went to chat one night at 4AM or so, because of a nightmare. No one responded to me at all. It was like I wasn't even there! I felt hurt and worse off for having come here that night, but I did not quit the forum. I just took a day off and came back a couple of days later. Everything was fine then and has been since. I do notice sometimes that some folks in chat are in the thick of a kind of almost private conversation and you can butt in, but may be ignored, just because someone is giving someone else support who desperately needs it and they don't even notice you, because they are so busy reading that other person's chat notes. It can happen, but it is nothing personal to you, it just is some bad timing or something. Don't ever take stuff like that personally. It isn't you! It is just the situation.

 

[blackemerald1]

I don't do many OP's because I have lot's of difficulties getting to the exact nature of even one single issue. My head is exploding with issues!

But I read a lot of other's who can & do.

Many, many time's I find a Thread I just read & learn from what is discussed. I don't add my opinion because it's already been expressed.

Other time's I do make a suggestion & hope it help's someone else get an angle on their thoughts in a positive way, or it help's me discover what is tracking me down, just by writing it.

Other day's I am too mentally down, confused & have a pajama break. Or I am not in signal range, or I am on a mission to get one single job in my freaking "to do list", which gets longer by the day!

Please don't measure your self worth by your perceptions of what you believe other people might think about you. It's a struggle to not do this; I struggle with this too. But, it's projecting your inner pain that does this. It's not factually correct. As you can see by so many in this thread.

Take some pajama day's or set yourself a selfcare day whenever you feel the need.

You will be welcomed whenever you come & go.