I was mugged at gunpoint when I lived in the USA, this guy jumped from behind as I was going into my house and he cocked a magnum under my face and robbed me, I think I was was in total shock because it had happened so quickly, however the consequences of that mugging didn't rear its head until years later- I hate people standing behind me, I want to hit the deck when a loud back goes off, so a back firing car or fireworks are a nightmare.
You have been through a horrendous ordeal and you are a person that needs to get some professional help so you can make sense of it all- that one incident in my life was left too long without being addressed, and I can't tell you how many people who approached me from behind & making me jump ended up getting punched by me , as I went into survival mode.
Even now standing at an ATM and anyone comes too close to me from behind, I have to tell them to back off... get help now hun, you are a human being not a crime statistic.