Tired Of The Journey

[anni]

I don't know if it's helpful- the 91st psalm crowds through my head like a mantra sometimes. Memorized it years ago.

Peace and hugs to you, Tessa.

 

[Froggie]

Thankyou..I will live
Hugs to you Deer

Hi Tessa, Anni had a great idea, but effectively Psaume 91 is very powerful, I had used it to help me through rough times and still do. Revert to some lessons we find in films when the main actor/actress is surrounded by darkness. They suddenly realize there is a "permanent light" inside of them and they just have to make it glow. That is why I love using candles as there are times I find it hard to find my inner light so when I can connect to the serogate one, it's like finding mine. (((((TESSA))))) we all know it,s tough now for you.

 

[Tessa]

Thankyou Deer Anni and Froggie, I will go and look up psalm 91. In my devotions for today it talked about God leaving it to the height of the storm to rescue us. I must have faith.
I wrote to the CEO and Anti Discrimination Commissioner..might get nowhere however I pray someone may see how this has just triggered me and added to my trauma.
I lay curled up crying all day.no communication from anyone except you my beautiful friends. Tomorrow I will be driving as far as I can without panic and meet with my daughter to travel to town for a psychologist visit and some "girl" time with my daughter.
Your love thoughts and prayers blew a gentle breeze of care and my candle brightened strengthened by your empathy and care
((((((HUGS))))))

 

[ISupportHer]

Hi Tessa,

I know it's been hard for you lately. I just wanted you to know that I really, really hope you can continue to find a way to fight through the pain. Sometimes I don't know what to say really so for this time I will just say that I hear you and am one of the many here who care. I know the new feature on the home page, showing recent posts, is hard for some but I am glad I saw your post this morning.

ISH

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Psalm 91 is "my psalm", as well!

I'm glad you'll be seeing your daughter and psychologist! What good positive steps you're taking!
(((((((((((((Tessa))))))))))))))))

Would it be possible to see a lawyer about all of this?
Heck, a local gal just got an amazing discrimination suit won for something much less "provable" than the discrimination firing you just endured. Many lawyers specialize in this, and might be able to really help you. My Ts keep pushing me to ask for help from experts when I need it (I tend to be stoic, or try to do it something overwhelming on my own). (They're always right, and there is a huge sense of relief when I can put some of the load into a professional's willing hands.)

Anyway, I'm so glad you'll have "girl" time! Very powerful, healing medicine!

You're in my heart and prayers (((((((((((Tessa))))))))))))!
With all my love,
Deer

 

[BloomInWinter]

(((((Tessa))))))

Awed by your strength.

Be fierce in your self-protectiveness. Nothing else is as important. Put YOU first. :)

 

[Nighthawk]

((((((HUGS)))))))
((((((HUGS)))))))
((((((HUGS)))))))

NH

 

[Froggie]

So glad that you have a gentle breeze of love and friendship up your way, that helps to accomplish the goals. With PTSD, do that when you can, not when the others tell you to. You will have the strength and guidance to do those things at the right moment Tessa. Glad you are having good moments with your daughter. Taking care of oneself is really important right now. ((((TESSA))))

 

[Tessa]

My psychologist visit went well. I told him about my friends here recommending Psalm 91 so he found a Bible and read it to me.It was the most helpful caring thing he could have done.
My daughter and I had a good day although she did not approve of my nail polish colour which was a bit too depressing so she made me change it.
I remember coming in from terrible car accidents and trauma and washing your hair and painting your nails somehow seemed to help.
We bought a baby bassinet today with faith and hope.
The wall of silence continues with my work problems....thankyou again for all your kind thoughts and encouragment.I think I am learning something profound about mental health discrimination.No wonder so many people are homeless as society shuns us even when we are educated capable human beings.
HUGS to us all.

 

[anni]

Daughters are wonderfull tyrants when it comes to taking care of us sometimes. Mine was a lovely little dictator after surgery recently- such a solid healer and only 19.

We'll be showing them capabilities. You still have your book, countless others are working towards educating and acheiving this shift in perception. Oh, it's there to be sure but people like you are cornerstones of change-I'm just so sorry it's at such cost at the moment.

Nice to even walk through the baby section in a department store, isn't it? Lovely you both got to bring that bassinet home after all the worries and prayers.

Much Peace to you-hugs-

Anni

 

[Tessa]

I am fighting depression now. I can't help thinking that if one of our patients came in with a nearly healed wound and we ripped it open and poured salt in it we would be sacked and charged.How is it that my boss can do that to my PTSD and get away with it ? Still a wall of silence from my work. I love my job and just wanted to be back on my feet and functioning again. One of the hardest things I told the psychiatrist was about social functioning which I find difficult. It was so good to be back with my workmates where I am forced to communicate and enjoy their company. My boss just came in with a big pair of scissors and severed that link for me.
I am trying to get up and excercise on the treadmill and my book is finished so I have to edit it.Now I am scared I'll be sued for writing about my pain. I feel so much shame about being thrown out in front of my staff and community.

 

[alixipain]

Tessa I'm new here, not even an hour.. I'm that new. First of all 1 dont feel shame for being your own Giant! 2 dont let the SOB's win! and 3 kiss the job good bye and be happy, you didnt belong there if that is the way they are going to be in the first place! They are not being bullies they are in fact being children for they know your right and they are wrong, but they see your weaker than they are so they are taking that power into theirs hands.
It might help you to function on this. I cant tell you a bible qoute for to me the bible is dangerous (deals with my abuse). I can however share this with you and maybe just maybe it will help you! I wrote this to myself one evening when I had found myself in a profound fit of dispair.
A Way Forward
Whatever happens, there is a way forward. Remember that as you welcome each moment and each new development. Out of any circumstance, you can find a positive pathway. In any situation, there is the opportunity to create success and to experience fulfillment. Be unconditionally thankful for the moment you're in. Because the moment you're in is filled with real possibilities. Your gratitude will enable you to see the best of those possibilities. Your expectation of finding the best way forward will enable you to begin moving solidly forward. There is much to be gained by planning and preparing, by anticipating what is most likely to happen and being ready for it. Yet there is no reason to be paralyzed by worry or fear, because you have what it takes to handle even the most unexpected setbacks. Know that always, whatever may come, there is a realistic way forward. Have the confidence to find that way, and take yourself to magnificent new heights. This comes from me to you, being at onetime I had to hold other mens hands as they died from their wounds kowning full well that with all my training there was nothing I could do to save their life, as I held their guts into them with my other hand. I look back in my life and am amazed in two ways, how I ever came through it, and how in the world did I find the strength to move forword when everyday a thought of suicide passes my mind.
I'm a new person everyday when I step out my door for its not me when I head off to work, I'm a new person when I step into a car to go anywhere for every moment the thought to slam into oncoming traffic crosses my mind. It's funny I can do things that normal people will not do, walk into a building thats burning with no reguard for my welfare, but I can not do the simple task of telling someone that i love them!