Tired Of The Journey

[suzie q]

(((((((((((((Tessa)))))))))))))

Hugs and prayers to you also. So sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you find help quickly to get you back on your feet, with a dry place to sleep and food in your belly. The rest will take time to get, but your health, mentally, physically, and spiritually are the most important right now IMHO. I know this is something you probably have heard already, so excuse my repetition.

I'm in the US, so please let us know what we can do to help, where you will benefit directly.
Stay safe...suzie q

 

[Tessa]

Thankyou for your kind thoughts. Unfortunately we are just a small remote Aboriginal community so we are pretty much on our own. It is not the first time I have had to start again so I guess we will manage.

 

[suzie q]

Doesn't matter if it's the first or fifteenth...starting over SUC*S!!!!! Don't you have a program to help in times of natural disaster? If not, wouldn't Australia have something to contact to get help!! You shouldn't be so remote that you can't get help flown in or trucked in.. Do you think the American Red Cross would help? I can contact them and see if you like!!

 

[Tessa]

Thanks for your concern however it is reality that we are remote and have to help ourselves. The airstrip went under water and the roads are cut. What I have been going on about with all the attempted suicides is similar. We are too small and far away for anyone to care. When I spoke up I lost my job and am still trying to get it back.

 

[Reclusive]

Wow, Tessa... I just read this whole thread and I am amazed. You have such strength, grace, and compassion in you. You are a credit to your community and your profession. I hope that you are able to get into a stable situation soon and that the waters recede so that care may come. Know that you are a shining light, and even when you're feeling diminished, we can still see your light shining all the way over here.

 

[Tessa]

Thankyou for your kind words Reclusive..I am feeling very diminised right now. I am finally back at work after 3 mediations only to be presented with a huge document of lists of things I will achieve IMMEDIATELY in my health centre. There is no care it is just rules and regulations which are not culturally safe....Strange way to support someone back to work who has not been out of their house for 4 months after a PTSD aggrivation.
Seeems like harassment for putting in a complaint about poor treatment.
I hope my candle still flickers....

 

[tillie]

Tessa
I also hate this Journey with the PTSD.Somedays I don't know who I am or why I bother with any of this. Maybe I should just give up...then I laugh or hear some Good News or see my kids so happy and I realise life its self is good. Only the PTSD is bad.

 

[anni]

It probably is harrassment by tight lipped ninnies who resent having a light illuminating their incompetance. You did it anyway and are back anyway. Little people making nasty little points because it makes them feel 'big'. What a silly and pointless way to live, especially with such work as yours is to be accomplished, Good Grief.

I hope you're able to find your own fullfillment in your work again slowly, leaving these teeny people to their endless power games even if that list has to be addressed. I'm sure your candle more than flickers despite the best efforts of others to see it out.

Do take care, Tessa. Thinking of you and sending a prayer for more strength and wellness every day, and for you patients there.

Anni

 

[Reclusive]

I, too, and sending strength and hope your way. Your light is still strong, though you may feel it diminished. This list of petty things that they have given you is totally unfair, but I believe in you. I know you will do your best to serve the people you care for and that these petty people with nothing better to do won't be able to stop you. Trust in yourself - you are strong, good, and powerful.

 

[alixipain]

Your candle flickers even brighter as you take their pety and turn it around on them by getting it done. Unfair yes, can something be done about it? Yes by you by taking it and showing them they are pety by giving it to you but also showing them a strength :whistling: that not even they can muster :speechless:, by doing it which will actually be you :p sticking your tongue out at them:p! By which giving you more than just a simple accomplishment but even more:tup: for it'll be you fartin in their faces!!

 

[Tessa]

Thankyou Tillie,Anni,Reclusive and Alixipain for your kind words and encouragment. I will try however it is impossible to do so much immediately.
You would not believe it however we are on flood alert again. My house has been painted and cupboards replaced however I still don't have a saucepan or curtains. The water is up to my fence again so interesting to see what happens.
I love being back with my staff and caring for my patients however I have been managing health centres for 21 years and I find it so hard with managers who try to beat us down when they have no such experience.
Most of all I feel the hob nailed boots of white authoratarian rules stomp without care across Aboriginal people who have suffered a lifetime of trauma : (
My book is at the publishers...maybe it will help to get the message of tolerance and gentle walking in partnership across ??

 

[anni]

Is it really?? Oh my! It really is the sort of thing which can catch the collective interest, hence concious of the world. Our Native American population also remains in poverty in general, some have been able to take the reins in their own hands and build some sort of financial stake for their people. It's been hundreds of years of ruthless, bloody discrimination also, with once in awhile some success through 'truth' getting out there.Zero, zero involvement from government also of course- some tribes actually have been able to win back lands in court which were swiped by the good old white establishment.Still awfull but what progress there is has been helped here and there through light shone publically on what the truth remains for native people. Different people, yes, same genesis of the heartbreak. So good to hear your book is at the publishers.

Oh my, do hope those flood waters hold! Enough is enough for all of you. Stay dry, and well, Tessa. Thinking of you.