To feel obligated to go to work

[Rani G2]

No this is not about PTSD/C-PTSD

I'm actually quite angry because I am the only person in this f* medical office who is almost never on sick leave. I was sick and I still popped in pills and worked. I was one Day off last year. Now when I have an infection its a big discussion and putting pressure on me to come back to work. I mean what the f*? Its always the other who isnt able to work because she is living too far away, the other one is sick too..and so on. Thats not my buisness!!! I should not feel that I should organize whose working when?? No! No! No! Thats not my BS when I am sick. And no one can force me or give me guilty feelings and I will actually be rageful if someone opens their mouth to say anything. They cant! I always worked when others were sick!
This is extremely unfair and unthankful. F* em.

 

[ladee]

I relate to this, a lot. When I was still working, because they could always count on me, I was taken advantage of. This happens a lot in the working world.

Take time off when you need to or just need a day, and let them figure it out!!! Just like they do when someone else is out. Good for you P!!!! This time your anger is justified. It's healthy anger.

Take care of YOU.. no one else will. Lots of love to you!! :hug:'s

 

[blackemerald1]

Now when I have an infection its a big discussion and putting pressure on me to come back to work.

Well why do they want you to work in a medical office, of all places, when you are sick with an infection? Not fair on you and not fair on patients. :wtf:

 

[Rani G2]

@ladee and @blackemerald1 merald1

Yep! It’s of no use me being a bacteria/virus spreader. Spoke to all on the phone and said that I might fall off for the whole week, as I feel bad. They sounded ok with it. Nothing I can Do! Time to let go out of control.

I will read about the ocean. That’s all what really makes me happy

 

[Friday]

I understand how stressful it is to be short staffed, as I’m usually the one covering for others. When my colleagues had the misfortune to keep getting hit hard with one thing after the other last year, I only missed one day; not because I never got sick, but because it didn’t rise to the level where I had no other viable option except to stay home. So I have both a great deal of empathy for how difficult it is, and know you understand I wouldn’t be out unless it was very serious.

Looking forward to being back in as soon as I can be!

Yours sincerely,
Purusha

 

[Rani G2]

Someone said you are eloquent @Friday! You are! Definitely!
Thanks..

Went to the Doc, I am fine it seems, except for the cough attacks. Going to work tomorrow.

 

[Daph]

Do you ever find you take your work home with you?
Not in the sense of the memories or nightmare parts depending on the career people have.

But checking email continuously?

Even when not aware? you click on the internet icon to search for something in amazon but before you know it, you signed into your work email.

Doing work on projects at home? Not patient stuff, but maybe typing a policy or some sort of supply list.

I even find that staff, whose work shift started after me, leave earlier or before. (Leaving not because of any illness or appointment, they do it practically everyday.) You?

I do the same. Popping pills when sick, and feel extreme guilt missing work. Also, don’t realize my own limits, when given extra shifts for example, to say no. Then later, feeling burnt out, think why did I not realize I can’t then and say no.
You?

 

[blackemerald1]

Yeah.. I literally burned myself to a frazzle doing this. Unfortunately the hierarchy didn't mind me doing that either... it made their life easier if I got it done.

I also did huge amounts of unpaid o/t at work and at home.

Yeah there were ppl who starting packing up half an hour before the clocked ticked over the hour and then marched out with phones ringing in their offices, people waiting at the counter and other stuff happening... and they didn't have any more obligations than I.

I didn't bitch about their capacity to do less work, palm off the extra and walk away from staff who would be left to do their work. It was actually the bosses who should have pulled them into line.

Once I noticed I kept getting files from a certain person despite them being allocated to her. She was doing something dodgy and initially I was too consci to say anything.. but when it got silly I signed them back to her. She went ballistic and I did suggest we consult a higher authority if she really wanted to go that way. She didn't and I didn't cop anymore of her files but she did try out other unsuspecting staff. Some people are just built that way Daph.

I tried really hard to reign it all in at one point but I had dug the hole I then found myself in. And also, I loved my job... I really did so doing a good job was important to me. Sure it was good for my bosses and the organisation too, but mostly it felt good for me... until it wasn't at all good for me. Then it was terrible...

Daph - try and stop the intermittent email checks and numerous other things to log into your work server... bc it all adds up and it's fragmenting your day away from non work things. Believe me it is telling on your nervous system too and of course counter-productive for ptsd because it's stress...

You probably know that checking your email should happen at structured times once or twice a day if at all when not working, if you must? If you can control that desire till then you will kick some big goals with regard to stopping work encroaching into your personal life.
:)

 

[Daph]

If you can control that desire till then you will kick some big goals with regard to stopping work encroaching into your personal life.
:)

I don’t want to take over @PURUSHA thread.

But all I have too say is going back to work recently, I knew I had to focus more on self care. I know I get wrapped up in work- it took a good year and a half on my leave to stop checking work email then.

Yes, I have always worked hard, but it never got to this extent until the (I want to say the career stuff... still hate saying ptsd) began to hit me. Yet, I did not know what was happening then.

But falling into old habits....

 

[Rani G2]

don’t want to take over @PURUSHA thread

@Daph that's totally ok with me! :-)