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Sufferer To Find A Place To Share

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Thank you really for your reply. I agree with you and that's the new path I want to get onto. People in documentaries are like zombies, dehumanized, hollow eyes... they always frightened me but I keep thinking that they were still human. The worst was to see the bodies in mass, negating the individuality of each person. Each person who has dreams, fears, different personalities...

You're right, I want to change my interest in them by honoring their memories. Thank you... #humbled
 
I am glad I have helped you see things from a different perspective. We can't change history but we can study it and learn from it so mistakes are not repeated. That can be applied at a personal level too since we all makes mistakes throughout life. We all have a past but the only thing that matters is that we learn from our pasts. I personally don't care about peoples pasts because I look at who they are now
 
Hi I'm a newbie too here, do you mind if I ask you if you've been diagnosed with any other disorder,...

Hello!

No I haven't, but all I ever did was see a therapist specifically to do emdr and work on that issue, so not sure how you normally get diagnosed for any of the other things, as I never saw / talked to anyone else...
 
I used to self harm when I was 16-18 but stopped, only had one bad episode about 5 years ago.

Used to think controlling the pain would make me feel stronger!

Apart from that never had suicidal thoughts, I do feel disconnected from the world on a certain level, like unless I am in a conversation with someone or physically very active (like at the gym) it kind feels like looking at life through a screen and I have to remind myself to look hard at what's in front of me and remember to enjoy the present. I tend to be in my head a lot, thinking back or planning ahead, instead of enjoying the present.

I once thought I might have depression but that's too strong a description, so in the end I am just someone with their head in the clouds a lot, and who tends to think negatively. At the same time I am really into fantasy worlds and cartoons / anime, which are very positive and colorful!!
 
Hello!

No I haven't, but all I ever did was see a therapist specifically to do emdr and work on that i...

Have you ever studied anything about reincarnation?
It's worth having a read and interesting too.
There have been documented cases where people have memories from a previous life.... Not Saying I believe it's all completely true, but since your case is unique thought I'd mention it :)
 
Have you ever studied anything about reincarnation?
It's worth having a read and interesting too....

I read about it on this forum! I am unsure at the moment, if I nurture that belief (it did cross my mind a few times) I don't want to make it worse and be engrossed in it. I'm also afraid to see pictures on forums, I've read on another thread there are actually forums where people try to discover their past life as holocaust survivors.

I am really humbled by the fact that some people here listen and help, thank you for taking the time...
 
You said you used to self harm. And that you've had a psychoanalyst?

Psychoanalysis was founded by Sigmund Freud (1856-1939). Freud believed that people could be cured by making conscious their unconscious thoughts and motivations, thus gaining insight. The aim of psychoanalysis therapy is to release repressed emotions and experiences, i.e. make the unconscious conscious.

But then you mention this psychoanalyst didn't find any traumatic incidences from your childhood.

I'm a tad confused here *scratches head*

Have I misunderstood something?
 
I cant see anything that seems particularly atypical in your behaviour. A lot of teenagers self harm for various reasons and I am no exception myself. Reminiscing or planning ahead is also something that I do too. I had a pretty good childhood and in all honesty, I miss it but all I have are memories now. I barely recognise my home town so I dont really have any roots these days. I also think about the future a lot and what I want to do with my life which is why I am studying now.
horror films are a cause of nightmares so it stands to reason that studying the holocaust could do the same thing. If anything, it could be worse because it did actually happen so the level of realism is far greater than anything written in a fictional horror film.
your reaction seems strangely rational to me but that is maybe because I can relate to much of what you have said
 
I know someone who loves horror films (particularly the ones that include torture of some kind) but cant watch 'Band Of Brothers' (which I love) because of the difference in reality between them. Band Of Brothers is too realistic because it portrays what did actually happen whereas horror films are normally fictional and therefore unrealistic
 
Haha that's reassuring. When I asked my school mates, none of them were really affected by it. A lot of people I met also were not particularly affected although studied the same as me. When we were 15 we went to a museum, and the last part was about the holocaust. When we left and got back in the bus, I was sobbing but nobody else was...always assumed I was just much more sensitive than the other kids.

Of course everyone think back and forward, but I'm not sure if a lot of people reflect about the now. I often stop myself doing whatever I am doing and feel, this is now, right now, the present, and try to see everything around me lucidly. Most of the time I do feel like unless I'm in trouble things are very much cloudy, but maybe this is just the experience you feel when in a routine.

Faeriefire, I think the person I saw was a therapist, we only ever did emdr sessions together, and no particular traumatic event apart from my dad cheating on my mom when I was 4 and leaving us for a couple of weeks was talked about. One if my best friends tried to kill herself by opening her wrists in my bed at boarding school (one arm, not very deep and she bandaged it not long after) was also talked about, which when described like this can be seen as traumatic but are not liked with the obsessive morbid thoughts I had/have about the holocaust.

I do think the trauma comes from the fact that the world I live in has allowed such events to happen, which is very unsettling when you've been brought up thinking somehow there is a sense of justice in the world. The whole holocaust is a terrible mayhem where no justice, no hope and no reason existed for people in the camp, a living hell. That's what my brain has a lot of trouble coping with. Because it means it could happen again.
 
I have to say guys I does feel good to use the word holocaust which I dreaded to even think about, in a rational conversation with you.
 
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