To go or not to go?

[unbrokenn]

Homecoming at school is this Saturday and I’m debating on whether or not I should go.
My traumatic event happened last year’s homecoming, and the people who abused me are gonna go for sure. My friends still converse with these people. I’m not sure if I’m comfortable going. I don’t want to complain the whole time to my friends and ruin the night for them either.
What the hell should I do?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Why do you want to go?

 

[Chem Lady]

You may want to ask yourself what benefit will you gain and for what cost?
I went to my grandma's funeral because I needed to say goodbye to that part of my life. But I had to spend a lot of time with my family which caused my symptoms to increase terribly. I paid a big price in my mental health for a week in order to say goodbye, but the goodbye was important enough to pay that price.
I don't know how you respond to being around the people who hurt you. Only you would know if the benefits you'll get from going to homecoming are worth what you'll pay.

 

[unbrokenn]

Why do you want to go?

Hi! I want to go because my friends are going. It’s a stupid answer, I know, but that’s really the reason I wanna go.

You may want to ask yourself what benefit will you gain and for what cost?
I went to my grandma's fun...

You’re right, I think it may be better I not go. I mean the sacrifice I’m making is bigger than the benefit it’ll reap.

 

[Deleted member 37085]

On Saturday being the day/evening of your upcoming homecoming day, I hope @unbrokenn, you will do self-loving and self-nurturing things with and for your self and perhaps with other friend(s) who are not going to your homecoming...that allow you to feel secure and safe on this trauma anniversary date.

And also that you will try...only try and create joy, and fun on this day! I understand this is your anniversary trauma event day...I so hope you will be extra kind and loving to your self on this day and try and surround yourself with kindness and love.

 

[scout86]

I want to go because my friends are going.

That could be an ok reason.... What "friends"? What are these friends going to do? Will they have your back, or are they going to be trying to get you to engage with people you'd rather avoid? Are they friends who understand how you feel about all this, or 'friends' who aren't taking it seriously? You don't want to live your life controlled by fear, but you don't want to set yourself up as a target either.

 

[unbrokenn]

That could be an ok reason.... What "friends"? What are these friends going to do? Will they have your...

I mean, they still hang with my abusers even after I told them what happened. Maybe it’s best I don’t go.

On Saturday being the day/evening of your upcoming homecoming day, I hope @unbrokenn[/US...

Thank you so much. I’ll try. :)

 

[Victory]

Homecoming at school is this Saturday and I’m debating on whether or not I should go.
My traumatic...

Is there any other activity that you could get involved in that would soothe you? A movie? A trip to the mall? It sounds like going to Homecoming might be very upsetting for you, so I was trying to think of something that would make Saturday a special day for you. That way you wouldn't feel left out, but you wouldn't get abused either.

 

[unbrokenn]

Is there any other activity that you could get involved in that would soothe you? A movie? A trip to...

I think i could ask a few friends to the mall if they aren’t going, or just make it a me day. Because a lot of them are going and I don’t wanna ruin it for them.

 

[Victory]

It's very thoughtful and mature of you to respect the friends that are still going to Homecoming, but the mall sounds like a blast to me. And there's nothing wrong with making that trip to the mall a part of your "me" day. Stay safe and enjoy your evening! Let us know how it worked out.

 

[unbrokenn]

It's very thoughtful and mature of you to respect the friends that are still going to Homecoming, but t...

I definitely will! Thank you all for your help. Today wasn’t the best but now I got one problem out of the way. I really appreciate it.

 

[Victory]

I definitely will! Thank you all for your help. Today wasn’t the best but now I got one problem out...

I'm excited for you. Have fun!