Told My Sister I Have Ptsd

[redfox]

Well if it helps at all, I used to kind of be on the other side of that situation. My sister is diagnosed with bipolar disorder, she is very much under control now and lives a normal life but for a while when we were teenagers she was really kind of nuts. At the time I did not know how to deal with that and did not understand what she was going through. I wanted her to get better, but I didn't know how to help. During that time she would bring up the accident and want to talk about it and I would refuse to because at that time I could not let myself think about it. It was some kind of self survival instinct and I would get really angry if she brought it up. That is how some people will protect themselves so if your sibling has a reaction like that to your PTSD maybe it's because of this.

 

[Tinyflame]

I'm sorry NIKI.

I once told an immediate relative I was and had been suicidal and needed help, she told me to kill myself/ do the world a favor.
I tried once to bring up re: rape/ attempted rape, she said it was impossible if they didn't have a gun to your head.
Her views on ptsd are that it effects Veterans only, everyone else is lazy/ trying to get out of work.
I understand, it certainly doesn't make you feel like talking (or 'living', at the worst of times):(, it definitely makes me feel like a burden and to blame.
(((((NIKI)))))

 

[NIKI]

That is how some people will protect themselves so if your sibling has a reaction like that to your PTSD maybe it's because of this.

I think your right.

I once told an immediate relative I was and had been suicidal and needed help, she told me to kill myself/ do the world a favor.

That's awful! I hope you don't talk to that person anymore to listen to that sh*t. I'm so glad you didn't listen to that and you are still here! :) (((Junebug)))

 

[Tinyflame]

Thanks NIKI, the shame was I really was asking for help, trying to talk, and calmly about it, too, -seriously.

To be honest I can't escape the contact so I've learned to keep quiet about most things, accept it.

 

[NIKI]

(((Junebug))) I'm sooo glad you are still here!!!! :D

 

[Tinyflame]

Thanks NIKI, same here for you.
((((NIKI))))

Oh well, what can we do, eh?

 

[redfox]

I'm sorry you guys have had to go through that. I have had my share of people in my life who didn't give a shit about me or who actively tried to sabotage me but my sister has always been there. I don't know what I would do without her. Even when we don't see eye to eye we know the other one cares. We are twins so we have been together since birth. If I didn't have her around when we were growing up I don't know where I would be now.. probably dead or in prison. She was the only one who could keep me in line and the only one who cared how I felt about anything. I owe my life to her, both when growing up, and when she walked in on me when I was 19 holding a gun and thinking about killing myself. I don't know what I will do if she dies before I do and I get scared thinking about it. She lives several states away now but we talk on the phone a few times a week and visit each other when we can. Even though we don't talk about personal things much just talking to her makes me feel better. She is the most important person in my life right now. Of course I am not hers, her son is, but I'm probably #2... lol

 

[redfox]

Well my sister visited over the weekend for our birthday and it was kind of intense. We had fun and all but we also had a really long talk about stuff we've really never talked about before. All at like 3 in the morning after I woke up from a nightmare and she came in to make sure I was OK (I guess I was making noise... isnt PTSD fun when you have guests???)

Still processing a lot of it I guess. But we talked about the accident, and things with our father, and I told her a lot of things about living in foster care and the group homes that I never talked about before. At one point I started to cry and that was really humiliating but she was nice about it. And she was also nice enough to pretend everything was totally normal in the morning... lol

We haven't brought up the subject again, but I do feel better having talked to her about it. She said a lot of things that I need to think about.

 

[seedling]

redfox, This kind of support and connection with your sister is invaluable. I'm glad you two are so close. I would think it would help her too, to process what your childhoods were like.

Take care. Seems funny that to learn to be strong we have to learn to be weak first - to feel these things, cry and show ourselves.