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Tomorrow Is Here, But Today I'm Floating
- Post starter mytai
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novemberDark
Silver Member
You're a survivor, went through having reactions on the spot too,
to get here, you have that ability too.
Here and now, there's your autonomy.
The mind needs sleep the body needs fuel and both need to fit together. What ever it is that you can do to enhance this, it's being kind to yourself. That's what you deserve.
to get here, you have that ability too.
Here and now, there's your autonomy.
The mind needs sleep the body needs fuel and both need to fit together. What ever it is that you can do to enhance this, it's being kind to yourself. That's what you deserve.
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I don't know if this is doable, or appropriate, or whether it would help but... the thing that comes to my mind is could the police (or one of them) from your first interview be there at all? They've had dissociation and PTSD explained, they have the evidence, and they sounded kind, so might be able to prevent this guy from potentially trying to bully you? Your current cities' police department is taking you seriously and probably has had dealings with the other one - and discovered that they have a poor attitude in the past. It might be a silly thought, and I don't know if it's possible, but I think I'd want that myself.
However, though he was unhelpful on the phone, now that there is evidence that cannot be ignored, he will look stupid (or corrupt) to this current department if he dismisses it. If it is recorded, then he will look even worse, and your department has the recording, so he is going to find himself in strife if he does not go by the rules (the current department sounds more professional). You have been getting stronger and stronger, you can get through this, you've gotten through much, much worse. (This is what I have to tell myself sometimes). Keep looking after yourself, self-care is vital to keep yourself going, to keep building your strength, mentally and emotionally.
However, though he was unhelpful on the phone, now that there is evidence that cannot be ignored, he will look stupid (or corrupt) to this current department if he dismisses it. If it is recorded, then he will look even worse, and your department has the recording, so he is going to find himself in strife if he does not go by the rules (the current department sounds more professional). You have been getting stronger and stronger, you can get through this, you've gotten through much, much worse. (This is what I have to tell myself sometimes). Keep looking after yourself, self-care is vital to keep yourself going, to keep building your strength, mentally and emotionally.
- Post starter
- #89
Tomorrow is fast approaching @Ryn. The SA centre contacted me and let me know that the volunteer I had with me last time (and at the hospital) won't be able to come, but they found another volunteer who is willing to do it if I was ok with that. I am, I just need to make sure I have someone there with me because I let myself get bullied to often by authority figures. I also need the support, I'm very stressed about this. I'm not proud, but I lost control this morning and found myself cutting again. I'm very mad at myself for this. The volunteer told the person at the centre who was calling me back, to tell me that I could google her to find a picture of her so I know who I'm looking for at the police station tomorrow.
Very scared because I don't know if the volunteer can come into the room with me, or if this is the video interview (in which case she can't).
Very scared because I don't know if the volunteer can come into the room with me, or if this is the video interview (in which case she can't).
zaniara
Diamond Member
Praying for you(if that's okay). A lot. :hug:
I'm so glad you have the SA centre and their volunteers to help you - great resource. I understand your anxiety though. You must be feeling incredibly overwhelmed, I know there's a lot of attention and pressure on you right now. :( Lots of safe hugs.
Don't get down on yourself for cutting. Cutting happens. I hope you will find safer methods of coping as you continue to work through this, but it's totally understandable - try to give yourself lots of grace. Seriously, @mytai, you are doing so well and showing such profound strength. What a huge inspiration you are for all of us, and cutting doesn't make a single dent in that. It's a blessing to see you on and around the forum. Keep taking care of yourself, you deserve it. Sending courage for tomorrow.
Don't get down on yourself for cutting. Cutting happens. I hope you will find safer methods of coping as you continue to work through this, but it's totally understandable - try to give yourself lots of grace. Seriously, @mytai, you are doing so well and showing such profound strength. What a huge inspiration you are for all of us, and cutting doesn't make a single dent in that. It's a blessing to see you on and around the forum. Keep taking care of yourself, you deserve it. Sending courage for tomorrow.
E
Echo
I hope it all goes really well today and that everyone continues to treat you with respect and you feel heard.
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