Childhood Too many definitions for CSA

[piratelady]

I’ve been thinking about this some more. The stuff I said last week were my feelings since my therapist has been working on helping me understand the manipulation involved in childhood abuse.

It does feel confusing because they manipulate us so we don’t say no. Either through threats and fear, shame, or simply our inability to understand.

I left my therapy appointment last week feeling like I fully understood it wasn’t my fault because he manipulated me. He used shame to gain my silence. Then after that, it felt more like a relationship. All of it is confusing.

A week ago I thought I finally understood and had some clarity and even closure. Now, I feel like I’ve lost a lot of that.. again. One thing I read is that when we are manipulated like that, as children, it can affect our whole belief system. So it makes sense that we’re confused and can’t just flip a switch and fix it. It takes time.

Anyway, I’m not sure that’s at all helpful. I might be typing all of this to just give myself another pep talk to get my head back in straight.

I’m glad you’re in therapy. Do try to trust the process and know that it takes time to sort through all of it.

 

[Muttly]

@piratelady Gave a good example of why it's confusing. The abusers manipulate us to believe it's our fault. That gives them power and also takes away their own guilt and responsibility. If they can place the blame on the child or person they are abusing they don't have deal with the reality of the horrible thing they are doing.

Another reason we feel like it's our fault is self-protection. If we blame ourselves it gives us a feeling that we had power. Think about what happens if you accidentally break something. If you believe it's your fault, than you can think about how to make sure it doesn't happen in the future. If it's something that you can't prevent, it's much scarier and makes you feel powerless.

 

[sunshinedaydream]

Thank you. This helps me a lot!