Too Much of a Good Thing....

[becvan]

Too Much of a Good Thing....

Have you all read the "[DLMURL="http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread556.html"]Reading Forum Increases Symptoms?[/DLMURL]." If you have maybe go back and read it again.

Reason for me saying this is, that it's still true. It's true for me, it's true for everyone. It can be too much of a good thing. Too much time on here and we get too wrapped up in it to see clearly anymore. We all need extended breaks at times to gain back perspective, de-stress and plug back into our lives. Even us old timers!

I have a reason for bringing this up. I've read a few times about one member or another talking to their therapist/shrink about this place and about how "damaging" it is.

Let me address this first. Too much of anything is damaging. We all need balance and moderation in our lives. And let's face it, us PTSD'ers are not well-known for that particular trait. Also it increases our symptoms. So it's only natural that without breaks this can quickly spiral out of our control and we may not even realize it.

For those nay-sayers that say well my therapist said.. Yeah I've had the same discussion with mine. However I just don't give one side of the story. My therapist told me exactly what I'm telling you. Too much of a good thing can be damaging. Take a break.

The second thing I would like to address is hearing that the forum is the only support a person has.

That is so unhealthy. We all need to plug back into our real lives. We need real life supports and hobbies, friends etc. It's truly wonderful and come here to have thousands of people just get you. However reality is that the world is not made of PTSD'ers. It's made of a mix. It's important that we learn how to relate to others outside of our PTSD, lest we end up not knowing how to communicate with the real world. We run a high risk of also identifying ourselves only by our PTSD if we do not reach out to others in social capacities. And frankly, most of us struggle with that enough as it is.

Also if your only support is this forum, your only friends on this forum, start asking yourself why. What are you avoiding in your real life. There is a reason for it.. dig deep!

So for those of you that haven't been heeding this (new or old) listen up and apply it to your lives. Take a break and plug back into your world, on a regular basis. You'll be surprised at how refreshing it really is!

Sincerely,
bec

 

[anthony]

Well pointed out Bec.... People jump up and down when I disappear for a couple of months... though I do that for the same reasons as stated here and previously, the forum must be taken in bites, it is not a permanent place of residence for any person nor a permanent support facility. You must force yourself out, you must force yourself to get involved in local community groups or the like, where you will reintegrate with society.

I was going to post something similar actually, in the sense about some peoples reliance upon this forum. If you tell yourself that you "need" this forum or that you could not live without this forum, then you are definitely the people who this is addressed too. You need to leave the forum for six months and become healthy by forcing yourself into exposure within society, instead of attempting to sustain yourself within a mythical fantasy of the world wide web. They are just not the same.

 

[tude]

Bec,

I couldn't agree with you more. Reading this thread has been like a breath of fresh air compared to what I've read here lately. Thank you for sharing this important experience and re-iterating to me the need for balance. I could always use the reminder.

tude

 

[Lucky Laser]

Agreed. The other day I purposefully closed my browser, shut my computer down, and found something else to do. I visited my parents on Sunday and didn't even bring my computer!

Its strange though... sometimes I can read things around here and I feel like crying because it affects me. Other times I can read things and feel really detached from it. I wonder if it is best to come here when I am really feeling symptomatic, or if it is better for me to be here when I am feeling very positive? I guess it depends on where I go too. Anthony's rules on thread titles have made it pretty easy to tell in advance which threads might contain triggers and that is much appreciated.

 

[anthony]

Lucky... I am glad you can see why such rules exist. The rules and policies of this forum, which Bec had part in writing, where established by the members. If you did a search you would find the discussion threads way back when. They have evolved as the forum grew to meet the growing needs of members. Accurate, well written, informative titles immediately allow a person to determine whether or not they are interested in the thread, saves time reading if not relevant or interested, and it allows a person to make a decision to whether they are in a good or bad place at a given time and want it to read it then, or read it later when feeling better.

You could say I have an immunity to this forum, as I can read and read and nothing here affects me emotionally as I do not take it personally or allow transference of what another is feeling or enduring to be what I feel. It is an art in itself, one which many do not have. It is not natural, it is a learnt skill.

I have read here time and time again how people make statements like they couldn't do without this forum, etc... or people fall down and nearly die when the forum is closed for a week to upgrade or do behind the scenes work.

An addiction to such a thing is just creating another problem, and this is why such threads as bec is talking about where created way back to ensure people can find and read for themselves the problems alone a forum can create if not careful. Glad you can see and understand for yourself.

 

[Cecilia]

Bec, I love your post.

Therapists are not there to make decisions for the client. They help client's work out the best decision. If you are talking about this board in therapy, then you may be stating something in a way the therapist views it as negative. If you are using the board as a basis for your decisions or telling the therapist that the people or leaders on the board are manipulative; of course the therapist is going to say it is bad for you.

I have many real life friends and I mention them in therapy quite often; but I must admit that this forum never enters my mind when I am in therapy. It is a great forum (thank you Anthony), user friendly and a place to work out issues; but it is not a life-line.

 

[anthony]

It is a great forum (thank you Anthony), user friendly and a place to work out issues; but it is not a life-line.

Exactly.... I wish more understood the reality of online communities. They are an aid, not a need.

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Too Much of a Good Thing....

Have you all read the "[DLMURL="http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread556.html"]Reading Forum Increases Symptoms?[/DLMURL]." If you have maybe go back and read it again.

Reason for me saying this is, that it's still true. It's true for me, it's true for everyone. It can be too much of a good thing. Too much time on here and we get too wrapped up in it to see clearly anymore. We all need extended breaks at times to gain back perspective, de-stress and plug back into our lives. Even us old timers!

Sincerely,
bec

I'm glad your feeling better. I remember you stated you were feeling burned out right before you took a break from the forum.

It seems your refreshed now, and ready to continue your healing and helping others with theirs. I think your doing great and I'm glad you posted this.

I hope if I ever say I feel burned out some one would pick up on that and remind me to take a break.

Tammy